on Pebbles by Verse2Verse
4 Oct 2005, 8:27 PM
Some good stuff here, but trim it a little.
on hide and seek by oneglove
4 Oct 2005, 8:35 PM
not bad.
on some deleted poem
4 Oct 2005, 8:38 PM
Keep the first three stanzas, changing the last line of the third. Keep the last two stanzas, but change the made you up line. Then you might just have something.
on Keep on Going by april fool
11 Oct 2005, 8:29 PM
ok, will do. So, now take this advice and write yourself another poem.
on Skyline by MacFrantic
11 Oct 2005, 8:41 PM
Not bad, guy, but I think it's a little long....
on untitled rhyme royal 3 by starkfister
13 Oct 2005, 12:58 PM
I want to give this a three but for some reason I like it....
on Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim
13 Oct 2005, 1:07 PM
I love the title. I don't like the poem, but I love the title.
on Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis. by SupremeDreamer
13 Oct 2005, 1:13 PM
Hey, haven't seen you in a while dreamersupremer.
On the subject of this poem..it's just too damn long and there's just not enough interesting here to necessitate it being that long (I started wishing for Cliff's Notes). It's good and I almst gave a 9 but it needs to be shortended.
On the subject of this poem..it's just too damn long and there's just not enough interesting here to necessitate it being that long (I started wishing for Cliff's Notes). It's good and I almst gave a 9 but it needs to be shortended.
on some deleted poem
13 Oct 2005, 1:28 PM
Zodiac said this pretty well already, but what the hell: You've got to get a grip on your life, girl. Let's grow up here and stop falling in love with every meat headed fuck that walks by your door. Go see Dr. Phil or something (the Poemranker is cheaper therapy, but I don't think it's working).
You could be a good writer, but everything you write is just third grade diary entries about why the boy next door doesn't like her.
Now, sure, most songs are about love, most poems are about love, but make it interesting. It's gotten to the point where people know exactly what your poem says before they even click on it.
Follow Zodiac's advice: grow up, use your education and either stop being crazy over every guy you meet or start munching box (but you'll find that women are infinitely more confusing than men could ever hope to be).
P.S. - The only reason you're not good enough for whoever you keep writing about is that you act (if your poems are any indication) like you're completely batshit.
You could be a good writer, but everything you write is just third grade diary entries about why the boy next door doesn't like her.
Now, sure, most songs are about love, most poems are about love, but make it interesting. It's gotten to the point where people know exactly what your poem says before they even click on it.
Follow Zodiac's advice: grow up, use your education and either stop being crazy over every guy you meet or start munching box (but you'll find that women are infinitely more confusing than men could ever hope to be).
P.S. - The only reason you're not good enough for whoever you keep writing about is that you act (if your poems are any indication) like you're completely batshit.
on Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac
24 Oct 2005, 6:57 PM
The falling into religion part is great and I rather like the -ly
on untitled rubiayait 2 by starkfister
24 Oct 2005, 7:54 PM
whut?
on Intimate Joy by flightoffancy
25 Oct 2005, 7:17 PM
The uncrossable void line doesn't really work
on MOMENTS From A Madman's Mind by PsydewaysTears
25 Oct 2005, 7:21 PM
The third stanza is just not very good, but the rest isnt too bad...not real wild about the capitalized words either...I'm guessing you did it because they all have to do with time, but it's actually kind of distracting.
on The cold shoulder by <~>
26 Oct 2005, 2:20 PM
constellation sex..
on Tough Love by Crann Mascher
26 Oct 2005, 4:06 PM
Sounds like a Ween song off the 12 Golden Country Greats album....nice
on brave new world still a bit timid by FreeFormFixation
30 Oct 2005, 4:00 PM
Although I think you're completely misinterpreting Jeff Mangum's lyrics, there are still parts of this that I like (such as the third stanza). Also, points for knowing who Neutral Milk Hotel is...
on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy
24 Nov 2005, 5:50 PM
Sympathy for the Devil reference...nice..