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brave new world still a bit timid (Free verse) by FreeFormFixation
i feel like neutral milk hotel felt after reading ann frank's diary. such a lame and standard novel fed to us among the drivel of our standardized education. i guess it's lame to see this as a feely fraught with emptiness charged upon each other. this site, these lives, these open channels broadband subterranean tunnels link us to each other. though we'd never have one another.

Up the ladder: Prologue

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.5
Weighted score: 5.4034123
Overall Rank: 3173
Posted: October 29, 2005 12:47 AM PDT; Last modified: October 29, 2005 12:47 AM PDT
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Comments:
[6] zodiac @ 212.118.19.91 | 29-Oct-05/2:23 AM | Reply
Anne Frank, with an E. Drop ever instance of 'each other' or 'one another'.
[6] zodiac @ 212.118.19.91 | 29-Oct-05/2:24 AM | Reply
PS-Nice self-voting. You must be basking in all your made-up greatness.
[n/a] FreeFormFixation @ 70.225.166.245 > zodiac | 29-Oct-05/3:00 AM | Reply
an experiment, my friend. never tried it before, feel guilty, never will do again.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.116.69 | 29-Oct-05/6:29 AM | Reply
"broadband subterranean tunnels" perfect.
[7] Dovina @ 209.247.222.91 | 29-Oct-05/11:52 AM | Reply
"freely" should be a noun form, I think.
"we'd" seems grammetically bad. Maybe "we"
[n/a] Niphredil @ 192.114.44.209 > Dovina | 30-Oct-05/2:32 AM | Reply
No, he means 'feely' - a play on 'movie', in which the viewer can also feel the sensations that correspond to the scenes projected on the screen. It's a term introduced in Huxley's Brave New World.
[7] Dovina @ 209.247.222.96 > Niphredil | 30-Oct-05/5:15 PM | Reply
Alright, if it's in a book or a movie, then its ok to use anywhere, unquoted, unreferenced, uncapitalized and uncouth?
[6] zodiac @ 212.38.134.51 > Dovina | 31-Oct-05/2:19 AM | Reply
Feely isn't a quote, it's a coinage. If you had to quote-mark and reference coinages you'd never make it through a sentence.

You're just bummed because everybody knew it and you didn't. Don't be. People who've read Brave New World are gay.
[n/a] FreeFormFixation @ 70.225.166.245 > zodiac | 31-Oct-05/4:12 AM | Reply
especially RuPaul.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 30-Oct-05/4:50 AM | Reply
Anne Frank's novel?!
Are you saying she made all that shit up?
If it's lame it can't be a standard novel, same with drivel as standardized education. Standard means acceptable.
Who is neutral milk hotel and why isn't he/she or it capitalized?
"a feely fraught with emptiness" is contradictory but I'm sure you'd meant to be oxymoronic.

Good use of alliteration.
[n/a] FreeFormFixation @ 70.225.166.245 > ALChemy | 31-Oct-05/4:12 AM | Reply
no, i believe in the halocaust. millions died unnecessarily. but, as woody allen said, unfortunately all records are made to be broken.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > FreeFormFixation | 31-Oct-05/7:59 AM | Reply
In a Barry Sanders vs. Emmitt Smith kinda way the record has been broken by the Hutu in Rwanda.
[7] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 | 30-Oct-05/4:00 PM | Reply
Although I think you're completely misinterpreting Jeff Mangum's lyrics, there are still parts of this that I like (such as the third stanza). Also, points for knowing who Neutral Milk Hotel is...
[n/a] FreeFormFixation @ 70.225.166.245 > wilco | 31-Oct-05/4:09 AM | Reply
i dont think i misinterpreted. or maybe i have, but not in this poem. i was just saying a lot of people i talked to thought it was lame that he was touched by that book because they blew it off in school. eh, i hope you get it. it's not terribly complicated.
[n/a] FreeFormFixation @ 70.225.166.245 > FreeFormFixation | 31-Oct-05/4:10 AM | Reply
ps i mean my comment not the books or the lyrics.
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