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MOMENTS From A Madman's Mind (Other) by PsydewaysTears
Maybe MIDNIGHT's Just a time When ordinary Tastes like lime, And little windows Grown in size Are just reflections In your eyes. But NEVER seems To come along At ev'ry beat From ev'ry song. Relinquish me The pain of sin And teach me how To hold a grin, I need to not See in-between When sky's ain't blue And grass ain't green. For underneath The billboard light An ad from YESTERDAY's In sight. It's telling me That hoping's just A frozen layer Of misplaced trust, And scraping rust, Although insane, Can't stop the sky From sending rain. I'm not the one To look up to But neither is This void of you. We've both lost sight Of what it takes To learn to pinpoint Our mistakes. Believe me When I say, "ok... I do not need Your lies TODAY." 'Cause bleeding down The wall-less clock Your FUTURE's just Begun to tock. And unlike me, Since I'm not here, When down comes TIME Down comes each tear. I'm counting, counting, So are you But don't you see The grime you chew? Can not you taste The taste of tongue? Can not you hear These words unsung? You're sailing blind Without your mast. No, Napkins can't erase the PAST.

Down the ladder: Red

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.2
Weighted score: 5.0238404
Overall Rank: 7432
Posted: April 9, 2005 12:03 AM PDT; Last modified: October 24, 2005 10:05 PM PDT
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[7] zodiac @ | 9-Apr-05/10:56 PM | Reply
You can't be amidst a mind. You can be amidst minds, or amidst the wrinkly lobes of a brain.

PS-congratulations on staging the return of napkins to poemranker. It's been a while.

[n/a] PsydewaysTears @ > zodiac | 9-Apr-05/11:37 PM | Reply
The moments could have been amidst a madman's thoughts..... but then the alliteration goes all to whack (so "poo" on my predicament). And, a while without napkins!!!!! How do you people survive?
[7] zodiac @ | 25-Oct-05/3:01 AM | Reply
Way to fix the title. Now what's with all the randomly capitalized words?
[7] wilco @ | 25-Oct-05/7:21 PM | Reply
The third stanza is just not very good, but the rest isnt too bad...not real wild about the capitalized words either...I'm guessing you did it because they all have to do with time, but it's actually kind of distracting.
[6] Niphredil @ | 28-Oct-05/9:53 AM | Reply
I would change 'Can not you taste' to the more correct 'Can you not taste'.
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