Replying to a comment on:

MOMENTS From A Madman's Mind (Other) by PsydewaysTears

Maybe MIDNIGHT's Just a time When ordinary Tastes like lime, And little windows Grown in size Are just reflections In your eyes. But NEVER seems To come along At ev'ry beat From ev'ry song. Relinquish me The pain of sin And teach me how To hold a grin, I need to not See in-between When sky's ain't blue And grass ain't green. For underneath The billboard light An ad from YESTERDAY's In sight. It's telling me That hoping's just A frozen layer Of misplaced trust, And scraping rust, Although insane, Can't stop the sky From sending rain. I'm not the one To look up to But neither is This void of you. We've both lost sight Of what it takes To learn to pinpoint Our mistakes. Believe me When I say, "ok... I do not need Your lies TODAY." 'Cause bleeding down The wall-less clock Your FUTURE's just Begun to tock. And unlike me, Since I'm not here, When down comes TIME Down comes each tear. I'm counting, counting, So are you But don't you see The grime you chew? Can not you taste The taste of tongue? Can not you hear These words unsung? You're sailing blind Without your mast. No, Napkins can't erase the PAST.

wilco 25-Oct-05/7:21 PM
The third stanza is just not very good, but the rest isnt too bad...not real wild about the capitalized words either...I'm guessing you did it because they all have to do with time, but it's actually kind of distracting.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001