| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Jan-05/5:45 PM |
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You should sell this to Hallmark. What is it with the self-help poems today....
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| Re: American Semele (Edit) by Sasha |
19-Jan-05/5:49 PM |
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Not too bad. I thought it said American Shemale thouth....that could be an interesting poem....
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| Re: Below Zero by Shardik |
19-Jan-05/5:51 PM |
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Nice, the end did save it.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Jan-05/5:53 PM |
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This one I like better than your last one I read...which actually was posted after this one, but...well....never mind, you don't care.
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| Re: Half a dozen by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
20-Jan-05/5:30 PM |
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I think it's pretty good, but I'd use out of instead of outta.
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| Re: Blue Executioner by Caducus |
20-Jan-05/5:31 PM |
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| Re: Enlightenment by Dovina |
20-Jan-05/5:34 PM |
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in an age of...much better than your last, D.
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| Re: The Snow Globe by Caducus |
20-Jan-05/5:36 PM |
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beautifully written, although sad.
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| Re: Playfight by fevriere |
20-Jan-05/7:40 PM |
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I guess you just finished reading some Shakespeare?
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| Re: The Flower by Bhaskaryya |
20-Jan-05/8:05 PM |
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More showing and less telling. You could say all this much more beautifully with fewer words and a little more specific.
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| Re: Feudal Conflict by Dovina |
24-Jan-05/7:07 PM |
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Is this about chess...or about "the look"? If it's about chess, then I'm bored....if it's about "the look" then I'm scared.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
24-Jan-05/7:23 PM |
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I don't know what in the sam hill you're blubbering about here, but I'll give you a nine simply for fuckle.
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| Re: Renton: Girls Deferred by heartlessempath |
24-Jan-05/7:29 PM |
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This is pretty not bad. 9.49
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| Re: Birth by Caducus |
25-Jan-05/7:38 PM |
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I have liked everything I've read by you so far. I thought at first that cunt took away from this one, though. Now, I thnk maybe it's ok after having read it a few times.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Jan-05/7:40 PM |
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lovely as always, but I think it lacks something...a certain cohesion....I'll think on it and get back to you. 7 for now.
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| Re: An Ode To Mr. Moon (Acrostic) by Bhaskaryya |
25-Jan-05/7:42 PM |
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I'm not a big fan of the Acrostic form, but this isn't too bad.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Jan-05/7:45 PM |
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I've always been wary when people do weird things with lines like this. It's usually to mask how crappy the poem is. I think that you have something here, but I'd lose the line crap and bring it together a little more.
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| Re: Never Did You by Dreammaker1024 |
25-Jan-05/8:01 PM |
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You need some line breaks in there to make it flow better. i think thi'll be all right if you do that and do a little more work to it.
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| Re: ... by shygirl1619 |
27-Jan-05/6:45 PM |
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Work on your spelling and put line breaks in te right places and this isn't half bad.
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| Re: Your Eyes Are Like Stearling Saphires in the month of June by tisa7 |
27-Jan-05/6:47 PM |
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