Re: Old Man by Rollsoftoiletpaper |
10-Oct-04/7:18 PM |
Seems to be about an abusive father. Not bad. I would maybe change this "How dare you say that I've
done anything wrong in my life." , but otherwise, not bad at all.
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Re: Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17 |
10-Oct-04/7:26 PM |
If this were free verse I'd probably give it a 4 but since you called it a pimple I'll give you a 7.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
27-Oct-04/7:40 PM |
I'm just curious as to whether or not you ever put music to your lyrics. Not a bad one, btw.
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Re: Who is deserving of all my love by zodiac |
27-Oct-04/7:49 PM |
I'm glad to see you writing again. I wish you'd spend as much time writing as you do attempting to make Poemranker newbies feel bad about themselves. You're not half bad, is what I'm trying to say.
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Re: Grandma by Dovina |
3-Nov-04/6:43 PM |
I hear that arthritis is painful.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Nov-04/6:46 PM |
Not bad sentiment but if you expect me to take the ime to read it, you could at least take the time to proofread and put the correct puncuation in the poem. Is inasmuch a word?
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Re: An Arrow and a Knife by blues |
3-Nov-04/6:49 PM |
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regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Nov-04/6:53 PM |
Not your best, but not your worst either. I have grown to dislike this style of writing wih his writing scheme....oh well
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regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Nov-04/7:01 PM |
I've been away from the ranker for a while and now that I've come back, I'm glad to read to pretty good poems. This being one (of not that many actually).
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Re: Everglades parkway by INTRANSIT |
3-Nov-04/7:04 PM |
As with the first timeI read this (quite a while back, I think), I like it.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Nov-04/7:07 PM |
Pretty good ed, but the fowl language thing is awful.
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Re: Draw Me A Pretty Picture by cuddlytiger17 |
3-Nov-04/7:10 PM |
If anyone else wrote this I'd probably just pas it by or write something mean, but I seem to have a soft spot in my heart for you cuddlytiger17. The reason I guess is that you keep trying and, God bless you, you're actually getting better
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regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Jan-05/4:59 PM |
I really liked this up until the last verse. It was a nice(dark)picture of the outdoors and then bring people into it. I'm not wild about that. People always muck things up. I'd give it an 8 w/o that.
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Re: Sounds by Dovina |
19-Jan-05/5:01 PM |
While true, I don't very much like this one D. I think that it is just an observation that is drawn out into a needless poem. Sorry, I can't give it good marks. You set the bar too high for this sort of thing.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Jan-05/5:03 PM |
A little 'self-helpy' for my taste, but well said.
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Re: A Picture For Danny by Caducus |
19-Jan-05/5:07 PM |
Now, this is pretty good, I think. I think it would flow better if you omitted the lines "Cathy asked her daddy" and "To which he replied".
Making it read something like this:
'Where did Daniel go when he died?'
'Your picture princess'
Cathy smiled
as her dad fought back tears.
I don't mean to rewrite it because it's good as is. It's just an idea...
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Re: Cancer by tangerinepuddle |
19-Jan-05/5:09 PM |
Now, normally I try to give at least constructive criticism if not positive, but I don't see anything that could make this better. Sorry, try again.
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Re: Hate the Contestant by Blindpoetry |
19-Jan-05/5:11 PM |
I agree with you on this, although I'm no fan of the Bush White House. I'm not sure what to vote on this, though. Michael Moore is an idiot, as are all the musicians and actors who put their foot in their mouth on a daily basis, but...what are you gonna do...
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Re: Revaluations by Beyond_Dreams |
19-Jan-05/5:16 PM |
I can't really give you any advice. Take Macs advice.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Jan-05/5:42 PM |
ok, made me chuckle a bit.
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