Re: Body & Earth by PoeticXTC	2-Jan-06/7:53 AM
Insane is misspelled. Very funny.
Re: Desperate Season by Sisterwolf	2-Jan-06/7:58 AM
Hm, I like your more modern-voiced poems a little better. But kudos for the title and Richard III reference. I'm with Dovina: the transition from winter to full summer needs more transitioning. Yes, it's jarring and juxtaposed. No, I don't think that helps the poem. Otherwise, good. I'm glad you stuck around after all.
Re: We'll be right back after these messages by INTRANSIT	2-Jan-06/8:10 AM
Cute.
Re: The Forgetting by Dovina	5-Jan-06/9:26 AM
David Shenk, who is comfortably under fifty, makes the case in "The Forgetting" that a cure for senile dementia might not be an unmitigated blessing. He notes, for example, that one striking peculiarity of the disease is that its sufferers often suffer less and less as it progresses. Caring for an Alzheimer's patient is gruellingly repetitious precisely because the patient himself has lost the cerebral equipment to experience anything as a repetition. Shenk quotes patients who speak of "something delicious in oblivion" and who report an enhancement of their sensory pleasures as they come to dwell in an eternal, pastless Now. If your short-term memory is shot, you don't remember, as you stoop to smell a rose, that you've been stooping to smell the same rose all morning. http://www.newyorker.com/printables/fact/010910fa_FACT1
Re: This Is Me by PoeticXTC	5-Jan-06/9:48 AM
I'd like to try a different approach. The problem is not your poetry; it's that you're not very good-looking.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Jan-06/11:47 AM
Good, but - "seminal"? Also, points off for using "Nowhere Man". Somebody had to work to make that up once. You're getting off easy, bogarting it.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Jan-06/12:11 PM
You shan't. If you were really macabre, you'd do it without asking my permission.
Re: greymo(u)rn by lmp	8-Jan-06/12:43 PM
Watch out for changing from past-tense to present without reason (ie, your first sentence is "flew", but in the next line the streetlamps "stand".) On a similar note, I think you could improve this poem by giving it more, um, movement. More structure and progression. Your images are good, your ideas are good, the sense of place is good. We just want to see more how you move from one image to the next or one idea to the next. You can do this with a kinda progression of time (ie, you and the dog walk, the sun rises, the fog burns off, the pigeons come out, the pigeons fly away). Or by really thinking of yourself as a person there and looking (or moving) and thinking from one thing to the next in some order. Think like Hemmingway walking through Paris in The Sun Also Rises. Or think like you're turning your head or walking through a square; you see things a natural order, right? Things on your right, then things in the middle, then things on the left. I know that's a harder task than what you've been doing. But I know you don't want to sell yourself short when by just a little extra work you can make something really great. Anyway, this poem is pretty good as it stands. You can try working on it more, but a better idea is just keep structure and order in mind when you're writing the next one, maybe. Good work. Bravo. Cheers. Etc.
Re: Pledge by http://mulberryfairy	8-Jan-06/12:51 PM
As far as I can tell, the American condition is hurrying from cocktail party to cocktail party, desperately waiting for someone to turn to us and say, "No, really, who ARE you - REALLY?" and being far too self-obsessed to ever ask anyone that ourselves. If we're ever lucky enough to be asked, we'll immediately lie or run away.
Re: Birmingham gardens by INTRANSIT	8-Jan-06/12:55 PM
Better. Listening, Whitman => 'Whitman, listening,' stone to grass => stone for grass Oak => oak, suns => sun's This IS really nice. You're my vote for next poemranker richa, minus the temperment. I mean, you write great poems about small things.
Re: The Healing Species by Dovina	8-Jan-06/8:15 PM
YOUR GIFT: Indwelling By Teresa Cader (republished without permission, natch.) In the crazy guest who saws off the chair legs, In the wind hissing beneath the door sweep, A tribe of mice squeezing through pocket doors, In the pants pockets where the evidence remains, Those filaments of wool in the moth-eaten rug, In the masquerade of motion that sets off the alarm, The alarm that arrives via airwaves at dinnertime, In the worm that opens e-mail, eats the address book, The virus propagating on the unsuspecting screen, In the cell that missed a loop of timing and purpose, The unpaid tax surfacing like a submarine, In the bloody stool and saliva, the mucus and membrane, Slits of sunlight discoloring blue curtains, In the broken gutter where ice dams pry up the roof, A crack in the skylight where mold sifts down, In the contractor hammering windmills on shingles, The carpenter bees burrowing barracks into the attic, In the funneling, the grating, the sagging, the gravitating— O icon of muck and filch; there is nothing you won't Divide, opening trap doors we forget to close.
Re: floss every day by digipoet	8-Jan-06/8:25 PM
Oddly, this is the 5th poem about flossing on poemranker. You'd think that's because we're so clever and 'wacky'.
Re: A New Year Prayer by amanda_dcosta	8-Jan-06/8:30 PM
For a second I thought you said "For [our sinful] worldly strife and troubles, don't treat us kindly [Lord]." Like you were asking him to treat us unkindly. I'm glad you weren't. Happy New Year.
Re: What Matters by Dovina	8-Jan-06/8:31 PM
Put a colon after "nose" to make it a sentence. You're cute when you're smitten. Shallow, yes, but love is shallow.
Re: do i know you? by daggatolar	8-Jan-06/8:32 PM
their. Good one.
Re: Bloody Stools 'n' Butterflies by EAger to Offend	9-Jan-06/8:25 AM
"Wacky".
Re: Reckoning by <~>	9-Jan-06/3:24 PM
"netted, complicit, wooden and pushed about" is great. The rest of the last stanza should go, says me.
Re: Uncontrolled scribblings one luch break by Nicholas Jones	10-Jan-06/7:57 AM
The best part is how you misspelled "letch" in the title.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Jan-06/8:22 AM
Get some verb-tense agreement in here. Also, fix stanzas 2 and 6 so they're (or they're part of) real sentences. Otherwise, good. Fluff, but good.
Re: Tulip by richa	10-Jan-06/8:26 AM
The poor tulip boy has poor taste that he loves his patch and his trowel and spade and his landlord, the dame that he sells to in the market his red and yellow flames. I am a poor tulip boy with not a purse nor a name, made to grow tulips in clay and sleep in my shoes on a poor tulip boy wage, happy to sell none today. You're welcome. Nice.