regarding some deleted poem...	15-May-04/5:47 AM
[If this poem is fiction, please skip the following comment. If this is true, PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS! Thanks!] <br /> Oh God! You see?!!! Is that not what we've been telling you about this entire time?! And sure the last thing you need to do right now is blame yourself, but there is the small possibility you could set things right if you STOPPED ACTING LIKE SUCH AN ADDLEPATED TWIT! "Am I not fun enough... Am I not balanced enough... Am I not smart enough..." Jesus, DON'T YOU KNOW?! Are you so utterly dependent on him that you can't just TELL HIM what you are? Does he chew your food for you and regurgitate it into your mouth as well? "...Any activity you desire, any topic of conversation... Just say the word, and I'll allow you To probe the darkest reaches of My anus..." My Lord! That's the LAST thing a man wants! Please believe me, any man wants his girlfriend to have to be coerced by force into anality. Why do you think men worship independent assertive Brett Ashleys and piss in the mouths of their submissive Oriental so-called fantasies? Or think of it this way: Suppose there is a graph on which X represents the extent to which a girl acts like a fucking doormat and Y represents the respect which any man can possibly have for her. Can you guess which direction the line goes? (A clue: It's 1/X.) PLEASE, PLEASE LISTEN CAREFULLY: Leave him alone sometimes. Have interests that aren't him. Fucking disagree over where to have dinner. Do anything but this shit in your poem. "Am I not thin enough?" Dear Christ! Have you SEEN yourself??? Whatever a guy says (and I've never heard any guy really say this, anyway,) he doesn't want to go out with a fucking poseable doll; he wants to hang out with a person who has a personality that's DIFFERENT FROM HIS OWN, one that challenges and defies him. If you don't have your own personality, and frankly none of your poetry indicates that you do, FUCKING FIND ONE, AND FAST! If you have any sense at all, please do this. Thank you. I will now return to my usual mockery of the very air you breathe.
Re: The Unseen by cuddlytiger17	15-May-04/8:40 AM
You're a very naughty girl, cuddlytiger.
regarding some deleted poem...	18-May-04/5:25 AM
This isn't terrible. However, if you ever try to do anything with it (such as, say, read it aloud or show it to people) you're going to run into trouble because of the whole Van Gogh thing. It's just a bad move, and it's hardly even an "art" allusion, since every redneck in America has at least a refrigerator magnet of Starry Night, if not a t-shirt of it. And what's more, you've essentially said "the night sky looks like a painting of the sky at night." Bravo. Van Gogh gets to do all the interpretive work, while you get off super-easy. If you're going to compare the sky to art, you might at least 1. compare it to some less universally-known work than Starry Night (even Monet's famous portrait of that nanny would work; it's at the Chicago Institute, I think, if you want to look it up,) or 2. some work of art that's not already a representation of the sky - something that requires the reader, and you, to actually make some symbolic leap - I don't know, Jackson Pollock or Duchamp's Fountain or something. Actually, Jackson Pollock would be just as annoying. You might be better off just comparing the night sky to piss splatter on your bathroom floor, like everyone else.
Re: How To Fish by Blindpoetry	18-May-04/5:40 AM
This poem is the ugly face of attention deficiency.
Re: Forgotten by erickvisions	19-May-04/3:15 AM
K
Re: black and blue by erickvisions	19-May-04/3:15 AM
C
Re: Dizzy by erickvisions	19-May-04/3:15 AM
O
Re: Pills by erickvisions	19-May-04/3:16 AM
C
Re: Colour Town by Everyone	19-May-04/7:37 AM
Attn: Nicholas Jones - Why do you think this poem deserved a 2, rather than a 1 or 0? Was it the line "I feel an unbearable ache"?
Re: Re-drafting by Nicholas Jones	19-May-04/1:15 PM
My thesis made excessive use of spelling sinister (and yes, slightly gay) messages with the first letters of each line. I win.
Re: The butchers consolation (Kyrielle) by SupremeDreamer	19-May-04/1:20 PM
Fails to describe what a tripped-out freak street-poet you are. -0-
Re: A Civil Saving Strain by Enkidu	19-May-04/1:23 PM
"To put it as humanly possible" needs at least two more words to start making sense.
Re: Sarah's Song by wilco	19-May-04/1:30 PM
I think writing poems about eccentric women is totally great and easy to boot. Do you know the band Train? One of their songs is entirely about the eccentric things this woman named Virginia or Idaho or something does. If you try to say, "wait, women don't really do those things," Train just says, "well, Virginia does. It's real specific, see?" Trust me, I've tried telling them before and it was an enormous disaster. But seriously, one of the things Virginia does is "wears high heels when she exercises." And half the people who hear it are like, "oh man, she's exactly like some woman I know! Train is such a great observer of human behavior!" Bullshit. I mean, come on, people! High heels? Jesus!
Re: Just Like Before by cuddlytiger17	19-May-04/1:36 PM
I don't just blab about this to anyone, but some of us at poemranker have devised a secret tool for writing really great poems, and I think it could really help your own poemwriting. It's called the "John K Rhyming Dictionary For Beginners" and it's posted at the following link: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=97250 I would definitely visit that page and add it to my favorites if I were you. Thanks, and keep on writing! You're welcome.
Re: Jesus, I funneled enough beer to marry that? by Bachus	19-May-04/1:45 PM
Since you're in CA, I'm sure "Washington woman" means she's from the state of Washington. I've always heard other West Coasters consider Washingtonians the toothless rednecks of the West. Is that true? I'm especially interested because I'm from Seattle and I was horrified at how quickly my parents turned into typical Southern white trash when they moved to North Carolina.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-May-04/6:00 PM
Much better.
Re: Reflections of the Living Dead by SomeKindofPoet	20-May-04/5:28 AM
Maybe you can explain something to me, SomeKindofPoet: on Decapolis people are always posting things like, "Topic: back-stabbing whores ...posted 05-12-2004 09:34 PM ack!!!! i'm sooooo livid right now. a supposed friend has just stabbed me and several of my friends in the back and horribly so. i'm so glad she's not here or i would most definitely kick the **** out of her... " and "like my wife used to always say.... "you can't trust a byatch."" and "Crap on a crap cracker. Josh." What I don't understand is why don't the Jesus Police bust these people's asses posthaste? Is that the way young "hip" Christians talk these days? I don't know about you, but in case of Rapture *this* car will be unoccupied. Thanks.
Re: love comes but once by francis nor capule	20-May-04/10:10 AM
Do you really know that love comes but once, or are you just saying that because it sounds poetic and preformulated? And how would you know that, anyway? By my own count, love has come for me about seven times - unless you really mean *cum*, in which case, sadly, the correct figure is never.
Re: Reflections of the Living Dead by SomeKindofPoet	21-May-04/6:05 AM
The worst thing about this poem isn't that it's about religion. It's that you're either A) the world's biggest failure for allowing yourself to remain "reprobate" when you know how you should act/believe to be saved, or B) the world's biggest failure for presuming to know what reprobates think when you are not, in fact, one of them. If A) better describes you, why don't you just take control of your life, you ninny? If B) is closer to the truth (and I'll bet it is) why don't you write about something you actually know instead of casting your exceedingly self-righteous presumptions around like swollen buttocks? As it happens, I'm probably utterly reprobate, and yet my life isn't anything like this. In fact, every reprobate I know isn't like that. In any event, in your current form, you fail.
Re: Focus by Signature	21-May-04/6:09 AM
Why did you put this poem on your own favorites list?