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Pills (Free verse) by erickvisions
Her skin Cold and white with goodbyes She’s stiff and dry Shivers shoot up her spine She’s shooting up something new this time Time would have her think its night She knows that cant be right Or was it left did we miss the turn Turn around and look at her Her eyes deep with “sorrys” Tears are forming From constant bitching There itching Her fingers twitching Now there shaking From drugs she’s taking Its all taking a toll on her Everything’s a blur Take this dear It will make everything all right

Down the ladder: Seven

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.0596013
Overall Rank: 6697
Posted: May 18, 2004 11:23 PM PDT; Last modified: May 18, 2004 11:23 PM PDT
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Comments:
[10] zodiac @ 67.240.155.84 | 19-May-04/3:16 AM | Reply
C
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.16 | 19-May-04/5:42 AM | Reply
Fantastic use of "twitching" to rhyme with "itching" and "bitching"!!!1 -10-
[n/a] erickvisions @ 67.170.158.17 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 19-May-04/1:14 PM | Reply
sometimes i think it sounds too much like a rap song...
[10] zodiac @ 67.240.211.31 > erickvisions | 19-May-04/1:17 PM | Reply
If by "rap" you mean the blundering rhymes of Debbie Harry on the Blondie song "Rapture", then yes.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 19-May-04/6:16 AM | Reply
WARNING: HIDDEN LEWD ALERT!!!!!!!!

"Cold and white... stiff and dry...
some... new...d...
have her... Or...a...l...l...y...
deep...ear... re...ming
bit..ing... her ...chin
...finger...ing... her...aking...rug
she’s taking... It... a...n...all...y...
b..ake... his dar...t
i...m ...very t...ight

-10-
[n/a] erickvisions @ 67.170.158.17 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 19-May-04/1:17 PM | Reply
hahahaha, i didn't think anyone would ever find the hidden message.
[2] Shardik @ 24.130.62.63 | 19-May-04/11:38 PM | Reply
A carefully wadded clump of shite.
159 view(s)




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