poemranker ::Pills by erickvisions

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 102533

Pills

Member since 2004 · Posted 18 May 2004 · 7 comments

Her skin Cold and white with goodbyes She’s stiff and dry Shivers shoot up her spine She’s shooting up something new this time Time would have her think its night She knows that cant be right Or was it left did we miss the turn Turn around and look at her Her eyes deep with “sorrys” Tears are forming From constant bitching There itching Her fingers twitching Now there shaking From drugs she’s taking Its all taking a toll on her Everything’s a blur Take this dear It will make everything all right

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mean 5.50 weighted 5.06 rank 6695 views 159 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

7 comments

[10] zodiac 19-May-04/3:16 AM Reply
C
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 19-May-04/5:42 AM Reply
Fantastic use of "twitching" to rhyme with "itching" and "bitching"!!!1 -10-
[n/a] erickvisions › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 19-May-04/1:14 PM Reply
sometimes i think it sounds too much like a rap song...
[10] zodiac › erickvisions 19-May-04/1:17 PM Reply
If by "rap" you mean the blundering rhymes of Debbie Harry on the Blondie song "Rapture", then yes.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 19-May-04/6:16 AM Reply
WARNING: HIDDEN LEWD ALERT!!!!!!!!

"Cold and white... stiff and dry...
some... new...d...
have her... Or...a...l...l...y...
deep...ear... re...ming
bit..ing... her ...chin
...finger...ing... her...aking...rug
she’s taking... It... a...n...all...y...
b..ake... his dar...t
i...m ...very t...ight

-10-
[n/a] erickvisions › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 19-May-04/1:17 PM Reply
hahahaha, i didn't think anyone would ever find the hidden message.
[2] Shardik 19-May-04/11:38 PM Reply
A carefully wadded clump of shite.