poemranker ::Rusty knife to the kidney by INTRANSIT

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Free verse № 120393

Rusty knife to the kidney

by INTRANSIT

Member since 2002 · Posted 19 Feb 2005 · Edited 20 Mar 2005 · 13 comments

She asked him what the color of her eyes were. He said "Aren't they usually red?" Her reply? "Heres your engagement ring, and your rib."

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mean 5.50 weighted 5.06 rank 6785 views 270 View voting details →

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13 comments

[9] Dovina 19-Feb-05/6:36 AM Reply
Wow, bet he never fixates again. Comes from the Bible story about woman made from the rib of man. Had to laugh, hope you meant it funny.
[n/a] INTRANSIT › Dovina 19-Feb-05/7:39 AM Reply
When I thought of it, I laughed too. Then a Grinch like grin came over me. But is it poetry? Would Ezra Pound laugh at it?
Or would he laugh at it.
[9] Dovina › INTRANSIT 19-Feb-05/10:12 AM Reply
Don't know about Ezra, but the guy with a rustily severed kidney isn't laughing. To me it's poetry. Can't say why, just is.
[n/a] zodiac › Dovina 20-Feb-05/5:26 AM Reply
Suggestion: Because it's short, oddly indented, and has the smell of aphorism about it.
[9] Dovina › zodiac 20-Feb-05/6:33 AM Reply
Suggestion: The poet seems to feel something and finds a unique way of letting me feel something too.
[n/a] zodiac › Dovina 22-Feb-05/5:22 AM Reply
Sorry, that's no qualification for poetrye.

To clarify: Take the sentence above. Do I seem to have felt something? Yes, of course. I felt sorry. Did I find a unique way of expressing it? Yes. I intentionally spelled poetry in an odd kind of quaint way. Does it let you feel something too? If there's any reason to the universe, yes. Put-off, indignant, or somewhat justified in whatever preconceived notions you're harboring about my personality or procreative abilities, probably.

Maybe you mean, The POET seems to feel something and finds a unique way blah blah blah. Is this a poem because INTRANSIT, a poet, wrote it? Not in any kind of universe I want to exist in!
[9] Dovina › zodiac 22-Mar-05/10:08 AM Reply
It is poetry or poetrye because INTRANSIT wrote it and because I have found most of his poems uniquely saying things I understand and relate to. This one in particular is terse, masculine, and tight. Go ahead and tell me about my sexual attraction based on what I just said. Everythiung is sexual; I can only speak from a sexual position. If you live in a universe where that's not the case, I have no objection.
[n/a] zodiac › Dovina 23-Mar-05/4:10 AM Reply
From what sexual position are you speaking?
[9] Dovina › zodiac 23-Mar-05/6:22 AM Reply
None at the moment, but thank you for asking.
[n/a] zodiac › Dovina 24-Mar-05/3:39 AM Reply
"I can only speak from a sexual position" - Dovina
[9] Dovina › zodiac 24-Mar-05/7:34 AM Reply
Try "point of view." Maybe you'll find it easier to understand.
[n/a] zodiac › Dovina 25-Mar-05/9:43 PM Reply
No, no. Of course I understand. It's just funny you said "I can only speak from a sexual position." Kind of gave me, you know, a mental picture.
[9] Dovina 21-Mar-05/6:51 AM Reply
I liked it better before, but still good.