| Re: The plains of Africa by horus8 |
22-Aug-02/11:34 PM |
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This is not a poem. It's an epic. I love you. You're one of the chosen. Nobody here will get it. But I do. It's always the same story. The public is so lost in it's own bum-hole that they can't see it. I've seen them on their deasth beds struggling to hold on completely oblivious. You know how to live with the grace of a true lover of wisdom. Grace be with you.
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| Re: I like Cake by skaskowski |
22-Aug-02/11:16 PM |
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The 1st paragraph gets a ten. The rest doesn't
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| Re: brown is the eat feminine deoderant gross and stuff mmm styrofoam right? by skaskowski |
22-Aug-02/11:12 PM |
I love you, will you marry me? I've been wading through so much unbelievable mundane trivia these peon's call "poetry" Bless you. 10/10
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| Re: The Seasons, Changes by Frass |
22-Aug-02/10:56 PM |
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This poem is confused. Seasoned meanings? O.K.... I have to give this a Zero. p.s. I was thinking about your previous comment regarding my poems being anti-men, and I realized the poems were so far from that. Untitled- is about the ectasy of the God/nature experience, Queen Anne's Escape is about the suicide of Anne Sexton, and The Hiakus are about the feminine aspect of creation. Were's the gender bias? Maybe your just afraid of me.
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| Re: {Porn*Star}{Hai*kus} by horus8 |
22-Aug-02/6:06 PM |
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exelente, mi amigo! I'm telling you haiku is your ticket to... I mean i's more like your antidote, your Ridilan.
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| Re: Questions to the Unknown by Mephisto |
22-Aug-02/5:58 PM |
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Keep trying, your soul is headed down the path of happiness. Read some Buddha parables if you haven't already. I bet your a fine young man. But I still have to give your poem a 3/10. I've got grown up appetites
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| Re: Summer Son by Frass |
22-Aug-02/5:41 PM |
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Cheers! Heres to you and your family, may you be blessed with many years of joy and health.That son of your's will teach you more about poetry then any of us could. Work on this, it's almost there. Just tighten the bolts alittle. Isn't it amazing to be a father! I bet you race home just to look at him.
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| Re: Window poems by kawakurdi |
22-Aug-02/5:32 PM |
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edit edit edit edit i can not say it enough. most of these sentences can be pared down to 3-5 words and the poem would be much better for it.
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| Re: Reflected, Dreamed by Frass |
22-Aug-02/5:28 PM |
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Cheers! I don't know what thiws is about but it's well done a that's what counts. Although I can never get use to sentences being turned on their behinds for sake of a rhymn. (fromdeepisgleaned,isupwardbeamed)how about deeply gleaned and upwardly beamed.
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| Re: saving myself for marriage by Venus |
22-Aug-02/3:17 PM |
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yes my dear, but why is it broken, I mean f**king it won't break anything.
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| Re: Life On Earth by dougsoderstrom |
22-Aug-02/3:15 PM |
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There is no way out, you are right we're all bound towards death. But that's something a 5 year old discovers. Make this work, focus on some specific experience or moment which made you feel this, and write about the experience, not the philosophy
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| Re: saving myself for marriage by Venus |
22-Aug-02/3:00 PM |
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improved but still needs a little more salt, or maybe some garlic. Why is your starfish broken, exactly?
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| Re: aphelion by DespondentDotCom |
22-Aug-02/2:57 PM |
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| Re: Titanic by DespondentDotCom |
22-Aug-02/2:55 PM |
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| Re: Titanic by DespondentDotCom |
22-Aug-02/2:55 PM |
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| Re: Dark Lady by quantumenterprises |
22-Aug-02/2:50 PM |
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Your hyper-poeticising is ok here because it's to an inanimate object, which makes it humouress.
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| Re: Falling... by quantumenterprises |
22-Aug-02/2:45 PM |
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this takes a quantum leap into to the realm of saccharinity. 'Oh life bizarre'?... Oh poem bizarre! Keep it real for the peeps. Settle down a little and speak to us as if you were telling yourself something important about yourself. Good luck
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| Re: Gilded Stumps of Olde (AN STORY THAT IS NOT AN POEME) by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
22-Aug-02/2:34 PM |
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Best story I've read in a long time. Great composition. It's complicated but there's no meandering. I think this would make a great kid's book. I know my 11 year old would piss his pants laughing and squealing with joy. I respect your ability to create great humor. Funny. 10/10
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| Re: Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles |
22-Aug-02/1:49 PM |
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Fart Angel you're a dick and a pussy.
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| Re: Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles |
22-Aug-02/10:55 AM |
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oops i forgot to sum it all up. I have female sex organs. My gender is female. If I identify with males I may consider my self a male but my actual gender remaions female. Ican havr my clit surgically inlarge but I can't have my vagina sewn shut enless I have my reproductive organs removed. Which can be done but is exceedingly rare. My chromosones will remain XX so clinically my gender is still female. Gender is a clinical word. Identity is used in the socio/psycho construct.
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