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Dark Lady (Free verse) by quantumenterprises Gentle one; caress my lips;
Not wine is yours, but yet so sweet,
And though I, of heavy heart, may weep,
Your darkness lifts me high,
To temporal paradises that last eternal.
Forgotten minutes, forgotten hours;
Your hand sweeps across my brow,
And with numbness and poor dexterity,
I fall, with submission, into slumber.
Gentle one; so still, so cool;
Refresh my life with vigour and love.
Cast out my doubts of heaven,
And leave me happy to play
In meadows of green, with red and yellows;
So bright, so hard, so smooth.
Without you, sweet love, where would I be?
Without you, dark lady, I could be me.
(Ode to Newcastle Brown Ale)
Up the ladder:
Blinded by Your Kiss
Down the ladder:
A christmas thought
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.2222223
Posted: August 22, 2002 1:38 PM PDT; Last modified: August 22, 2002 1:38 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.111111 Overall Rank: 6014 Comments:
[6]
nentwined @ 192.168.0.69
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22-Aug-02/1:58 PM
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Reply
choppy scansion. though I appreciate that it's to a beer. :) [temporal paradises that last eternal] is especially awkward.
Your hyper-poeticising is ok here because it's to an inanimate object, which makes it humouress.
I'm still laughing, I absolutely love this! At first I thought it was about sleep (yawn), but no, that's fantastic. While my preferred sleepmate is the red, red, wine, I still say 9/10 for the loving, and might I say, bittersweet ode.
An Ode to Newky Brown has got to enter the pantheon of poesy. This is Keats on his third bottle, and he's loving it.
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