Re: Comfort Food by jessicazee	21-Oct-02/11:38 PM
Don't forget the gnocchi. Every 11th day of the month. You have offended my ethnic sensibilities by your glaring exclusion. Even the Asians are represented by those oily little slugs they try to pass off as dumplings Hmpff!
Re: Midnight Dream by Katie	21-Oct-02/11:08 PM
Yucky. That is so totally gross!!! How could you even think of role-playing with someone on the internet? I mean, they could be a pervert or something, like maybe they own a laundromat called sudsorama, and they steal little girl's knickers from hampers when noones looking. Or worse you could be getting off with some old prof who touches his weenie while he's standing up behind that wood thing that holds his papers and stuff. Crusty residue on the sleeve of his tweed jacket. Ewww. Or it could be an lady whos so fat she doesn't leave the house and pretends she's a dude.
Re: Belongings by Christof	21-Oct-02/10:55 PM
This popped up on random, I 'd forgotten it. I forget things. If you tell me a joke, in 3 months time you can tell it to me again. I love how you manage to conceal the punch til the last moment.
Re: a comment on The generosity of others. by darby pyn	21-Oct-02/9:18 AM
Umm, I meant to say like, not kike, sorry.
Re: The generosity of others. by darby pyn	21-Oct-02/9:16 AM
On 6th read I very much kike this as is. You have a rawness which perhaps should stay raw.
Re: Hunt by cobalt	21-Oct-02/9:14 AM
Excellent edit.
Re: Unadorned by w~* ATHENA *~w	21-Oct-02/8:52 AM
Silent voices cannot be heard. I couldn't read any further after that.
Re: Plucking hearts and banjo by horus8	21-Oct-02/8:46 AM
Very good. malaria net and huck fin are my favorites. Its errol flynn isn't it?
Re: One liners for the ladies by INTRANSIT	21-Oct-02/8:36 AM
The clover doesn't so much feed honey as affect it. would it work as The clover affects the honey The way you affect my soul.
Re: unprepared by Aggreddion	21-Oct-02/8:13 AM
There's quite a few typos. this doesn't flow very well, I think partially because of the afore mentioned.
Re: Hedgehog's Dilemma by Shin-Bojangles	21-Oct-02/7:50 AM
You love to speak to the select few, and I am not included.
Re: Cancer Haikus by poetandknowit	19-Oct-02/8:06 PM
Somehow I overlooked these. Semillas de tus agonias. 2 nights ago I met a boy who's mother died when he was sixteen. I said that must of been awful, and he replied ' I was 16, I hated her'.
Re: a comment on The generosity of others. by darby pyn	19-Oct-02/5:55 PM
You have to play with the words, the way you would play with sounds to create melodies. I'ts a very creative thing, my favorite part of writing. Re-arranging the furniture til I get the room the way I want it. I have my supicions about ADD. It seems an easy excuse for everything. I can't concetrate enough on the routine things, paying bills for example, I 'm always runing aroun at the last minute, or putting my keys int he same place twice. But if I'm doing something I'm meant to do, then I could do it for hours
Re: Mi Virgin De Guadalupe by slipping	19-Oct-02/3:19 PM
Fascinating. She's such a powerful symbol. I love her mystery and her maternal, unconditional mercy. The 1st stanza is perfect but the 2nd falls apart slightly. Slightly. Soem typos and bad grammer but over all can be worked into art. Thanks for being here.
Re: a comment on The generosity of others. by darby pyn	19-Oct-02/3:06 PM
How much time do you spend editing yourself?
Re: The generosity of others. by darby pyn	19-Oct-02/2:52 PM
I really connect with the way you write. It needs some refining, but you have a natural and distinctive flow. It's 'cerEmony' . I'm impressed by many of your images. The penultimate line is a true beauty. Pause after "posture' . 'hold' to 'holding' a want a line break between 'smoke' & 'coated'. Sage Scents floors with no room to grow. stiffen my posture, holding my bow at attention. dizzy from the smoke coated prayers with no knees, just needs. I or nothing. nothing. no thing just manicured widows, white dress and green eyes trade fingers for palms on sunday. ceremony not service. popularity from thrift with diamond watches gold plated hearts well versed in spin but not sincerity? twist the contradiction to a noose. hang the messenger
Re: journey to being the top rapper by kliq	18-Oct-02/8:47 PM
You're world sounds more racist then mine. Your sister has food stamps, she doesn't need to trade sex for bread.
Re: a comment on Impervious by heart	18-Oct-02/8:36 PM
Oh yes! Tired soul, of course, and bouncing not sticking. No wonder I didn't quite get the title. The scene swept me away.
Re: a comment on regret. by darby pyn	18-Oct-02/8:31 PM
It's so expensive. I have a dear friend who's loaded so he always fronts me tickets to everything. His my my Big daddy. I poor but well connected. Go checkpout Horus8 at gangbox. It's free and he is a true genius when it comes to music and spoken word. Check it out.
Re: a comment on regret. by darby pyn	18-Oct-02/8:14 PM
Much better. I'm glad you like my poems, they are my best friends. I think you should put a stop after 'memories behind'. Either a period or drop the following words down to the next line, also a stop after 'arrivals' would help. I like -=Dark_Angel=- also. Shhh, don't tell. I f you're interested in hearing what one of my poems sounds like you can find me at www.gangbox.com. It's Horus8's website and he was kind enough to let me record at his place last night. Check out his recordings I have the feeling you'd love them. Saw the Buzzcocks live last month, they were great.