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regret. (Free verse) by darby pyn
What a hollow faith you have in mind to leave your memories behind you know yourself much better than you think. bored contention bleeds late arrivals eyes on contact stare reprisals. numb a promise with contradiction lie in your sleep wake up alone. spinning down above my face focused on my past mistakes. naked like a new born poem caught between hell and home.
Up the ladder: The Seagull Reader
Down the ladder: Shwe Nat
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.375
Weighted score: 5.100853
Overall Rank: 6041
Posted: October 18, 2002 7:32 PM PDT; Last modified: October 18, 2002 8:06 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] god'swife @ 209.179.211.216 | 18-Oct-02/7:36 PM | Reply
Caught between hell and home is fucking fanstastic. this quickly turns to caios at "bored contention..."
[n/a] darby pyn @ 152.163.188.7 > god'swife | 18-Oct-02/8:00 PM | Reply
I just saw it Im writing while listening to the buzzcocks.
so Im making alot of spelling errors. sorry.
p.s. I loved carmen and the devil. you and dark angel
are my favorite poets on this site...yes I said dark angel.
[n/a] god'swife @ 209.179.211.216 > darby pyn | 18-Oct-02/8:14 PM | Reply
Much better. I'm glad you like my poems, they are my best friends. I think you should put a stop after 'memories behind'. Either a period or drop the following words down to the next line, also a stop after 'arrivals' would help. I like -=Dark_Angel=- also. Shhh, don't tell. I f you're interested in hearing what one of my poems sounds like you can find me at www.gangbox.com. It's Horus8's website and he was kind enough to let me record at his place last night. Check out his recordings I have the feeling you'd love them. Saw the Buzzcocks live last month, they were great.
[n/a] darby pyn @ 64.12.96.139 > god'swife | 18-Oct-02/8:27 PM | Reply
Thank you so much. I miss going to shows it's been
so long the last one was dead kennedys it was great
even without jello biafra.
[n/a] god'swife @ 209.179.211.216 > darby pyn | 18-Oct-02/8:31 PM | Reply
It's so expensive. I have a dear friend who's loaded so he always fronts me tickets to everything. His my my Big daddy. I poor but well connected. Go checkpout Horus8 at gangbox. It's free and he is a true genius when it comes to music and spoken word. Check it out.
[7] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 21-Oct-02/11:29 AM | Reply
you are to be watched. edit more. genius happens in the darkroom.
[8] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 6-Dec-02/4:44 PM | Reply
people climb mountains to climb..never to mount. ??
[9] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 7-Feb-04/9:05 AM | Reply
I like it - rhyming scheme is subtle yet sophisticated.

I got a little caught up in that though, now I have figure out what the message is...
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