Re: Ode to a Depleted Uranium Shell by Yardbird	13-Nov-02/9:24 AM
Thank you! It is very sweet of you to answer my request. I don' get the visual of 'simmer with mirth' but that is my only criticism. If you did a bit of research a bet you could come up with a real killer, ha ha. Now when I look up DU on the web your poem will come up along with 100,000 other sites. You should be proud.
Re: L.O.V.E. by bxjay170	13-Nov-02/1:53 AM
I'm suprised you can write. Or did someome at church submit this for you?
Re: Surreal... by Yardbird	13-Nov-02/1:50 AM
You made me laugh. Especially 'So long as elephants...' Use your brains for something I prefer, like and ode to depleted uranium. Thank you in advance.
Re: the pot collected water when it hid us from the rain by kiki	13-Nov-02/1:41 AM
I think your poems are awful and completely inaccessible. Other than that I think you're a self-centered inconsiderate creep.
Re: without music by Limness	13-Nov-02/1:14 AM
Needs work but fantastic at the end.
Re: licking my tongue by w~* ATHENA *~w	13-Nov-02/1:08 AM
Best so far.
Re: An ode to my sugar daddy, but in haiku by horus8	13-Nov-02/1:06 AM
No matter how new the tractor, it still looks old. You don't need a gym membership, your skin will pop. The thing I love best about your poems (and you) is that there is no illusion more fantastic than the truth.
Re: Our New Tongue by Christof	8-Nov-02/1:36 AM
I should have given this a ten. So I will.
Re: a comment on Perversions by razorgrin	8-Nov-02/1:26 AM
You're sicker than she is.
Re: a comment on Necromantic Boo-boo by razorgrin	8-Nov-02/12:45 AM
From the time they first allow the audience to watch the video clear through, and that firey tree! I was in a cold sweat. The imagery. Haunting in the way I discovered occult books in the library and then started having visions. I had to pray for 2 nights in a row inorder to fall asleep. And the Horse, that Black Nightmare, and his blood and the girl's screaming. Some of the best cinematography ever in the genre. Apparently Razorgrin makes out to the end alive, oh well. I'm more the martyr. Leading them out into the open field so the B-2 can get a clear shot. I'm such a ham.
Re: Returning by INTRANSIT	7-Nov-02/9:28 AM
So much better, I have a serious problem with "chest pump" takes all the romance out. Sounds pornographic almost. 'stop' in the last stanza should be replaced with withdraw, or some such word.
Re: Some Things by Christof	7-Nov-02/8:12 AM
Your so subtle and as you say, a side-liner, a spectator. The books she's returning as symbols of her new found domesticity, are brilliant. I love all the small details found here. I wonder what would you see, if you could scrutinize me?
Re: Returning by INTRANSIT	6-Nov-02/6:51 PM
Thisis possibly the best outline you've conceived so far, I agree with Tint., the capitals should go, I don't have time right now, but I'd love to go over it with you sometime. Tomorrow perhaps. I think your writing is maturing over all.
Re: a comment on Hells Game by Katie	6-Nov-02/8:33 AM
The virgins always get backstage, no matter what they've got to say.
Re: everyone sucks. by kliq	6-Nov-02/7:20 AM
I love the ideas here especially S2. 'Love is warm...' is a very insightful line. last 4 lines S3 in particular need dressing up. I think you could really turn this into solid poem if you put more sentiment into it.
Re: Autumn Cried by lexicon	6-Nov-02/7:16 AM
S2 L5 "renewing" sort of brings the mood to a grinding stop. Could you use a synonym? The last stanza I particularly like.
Re: Little Girl and Mom's mistake by t_t_redhot	5-Nov-02/9:01 PM
Poetry is about rendering experience into art. Get it? The mere recounting of events does not poetry make. Look it up. Here is the inspiration, but not the transformation.
Re: a comment on the queen of carts by snacktime	5-Nov-02/8:48 AM
I think what happened is I was trying to make the discription work for a shopping-cart, do to the title. Perhaps if you changed that, 'queen of the bus stop' not quite but something to that effect, then I'd be more prepared for the 1st image.
Re: a comment on Jerk ?? Circle by horus8	5-Nov-02/12:21 AM
I am completely dumbfounded and in awe of this comment. You sir are too brilliant for anyone's good. Why do you choose your subject matter as you do? Again you are a flawless and elegant marksman. I pray somewhere on this earth your talents are being used for good instead of evil. I guess that makes me the worst sort of naive bimbo. Oh well. I grow fonder of you every month. Like a pet anaconda who elegantly swallows the neighbors chihuahua, I don't know whether you should be destroyed or rewarded.
Re: you are my concert by snacktime	4-Nov-02/11:44 PM
An easy and intelligent read.