Re: Nectar of Infinity by MacFrantic	12-Jan-05/2:00 PM
nice
Re: a comment on Veins by helenwales	11-Jan-05/10:55 PM
And the day is still young...
Re: Veins by helenwales	11-Jan-05/9:19 PM
"thud" implies a kind of finality - at least to me, as in it was the last heartbeat. I know, you say "metronome" later - too late. "Faith in god, in breathing while you're asleep" does this mean god is allowing his lungs (diaphram) to contract and expand? And if this were the case, I would think such a generous entity would deserve a big "G" at least. Can't quite get a grip on this one's meaning - could be the several metaphors - nest/nature, metronome/music, goe/religion, root/no idea. vein/medicine. A riddle of some kind? Thinking... is this the famous egg of the Jesus Omelette??!
Re: medieval myth by ThePariahDog	11-Jan-05/9:08 PM
"sole" - do you mean that one, as "sole survivor" - or do you mean soul - like "heart and soul"? Parts of this sound like an explosion in a thesaurus factory.
Re: Winds Cakel by nothingtoanyone	11-Jan-05/8:58 PM
cackel v : make a cackling sound; "The fire cackled cozily" -------------------------- v. healed, heal·ing, heals v. tr. To restore to health or soundness; cure. See Synonyms at cure. To set right; repair: healed the rift between us. To restore (a person) to spiritual wholeness. v. intr. To become whole and sound; return to health (not heeled)
Re: Untitled 18 by PopoyMola	11-Jan-05/2:50 PM
"clairaudience" - thank you, good word. "hearing [a] sound[s] that linger[s]" you are allowed one "s" "condole" while a word, is awkward here (console). haunter - unusual, and usualy apostrophied. well. it's very heavy in vocab, and the subject is done and done and done - but somehow this rises a bit above the usual ... crap, for lack of a better word. Another example of, "in the valley of the blind, the one-eyed man is king". You get an 8 for making me go to the web 3 times to look things up.
Re: I love by Leigha Browning	11-Jan-05/2:44 PM
turn each stanza into a poem then call back.
Re: Justin by smellycat541@	11-Jan-05/2:42 PM
silly, cute. have a nine.
Re: The Poet's Plight by dougsoderstrom	11-Jan-05/2:31 PM
ars poetica, eh? Tough ground, tough ground because there is, imho, an expectation of artfulness in the expression. This one, while not breaking any new, has some nice moments. I was struck recently by the thought, "it doesn't matter how hard you cried when you wrote it - it don't make it good". This one though, aint bad.
Re: The Wall is Crying by daggatolar	11-Jan-05/2:26 PM
As an excercise try to take out exactly half the words - gives you something like fourty to work with. Try it.
Re: My nieghborhood(1) by thepinkbunnyofdoom	11-Jan-05/2:20 PM
yeah, this needs to be longer. And consider something else besides the hours/devours couplet. good stuff.
Re: spiritually driven by Crakyamuni	11-Jan-05/10:42 AM
I like the language, but it's plagued a little by some grammar/syntax issues and it looses something with concessions to rhyme and format. Easily fixed all, I think. Starts with "fundamental" - I want it to be "fundamentally" but it could really be that you meant it as "fundamental" - EXCept then I see the "were" which certainly should be "we're", the the un-need "being" in "being constructed", some extra commas and I come to "together we loot", "[together we] death" so I start to doubt the correctness of "fundamental" all the more. I'd like to see a version without all the indentations since it tends to be a distraction if the thing isn't *perfectly clear* to begin with. The last seven lines are nice and clean, a little messy just above it (the stealth line seems very forced for ("wealth")). Pretty close, pretty close.
Re: Runaway by Cairsten	10-Jan-05/7:21 PM
surprised u haven't gotten more play on this.
Re: a comment on War Story by dougsoderstrom	10-Jan-05/11:35 AM
I eat shellfish, and fishes - does this save me? Perhaps just a partial crushing? Before anyone asks (zodiac), I eat them because they fail my very strict (and conveniently secret) cuteness/intelligence ratio tests.
Re: a comment on The Way by Dovina	10-Jan-05/10:49 AM
It would be one thing if the comments were even a shade of what artists like -=DA=- and H8 did (and both of them even knock an occasional poem out of the park). Your comments are like some kind of random, tangentaly related gibberish. This bothers you because you know it to be true. Search your feelings zodiac. Like your poetry - an immitation of the idea of the thing; a synthesis. We drew straws - I had to tell you.
Re: a comment on War Story by dougsoderstrom	10-Jan-05/10:32 AM
Okay, now I'm really [angry], nobody told me about the tortured kittens.
Re: Runaway by Cairsten	9-Jan-05/7:09 AM
Quite nice. A good sign is that I fairly quickly moved past the form of the poem (although the comma's are slightly... distracting - at least a learning curve) right to the content. I found this interesting, "I fumbled with childhood doors/As firmly shut against me as she is" yet in both cases (the door and the girl) you have the keys in your mouth. An enjoyable, mature piece.
Re: Empty Expressions, Watching You by cuddlytiger17	8-Jan-05/7:22 PM
Great Job.
Re: a comment on The Christ Omelette by horus8	8-Jan-05/11:51 AM
Very few people know that, DA - Kydos to you. And further, since Jesus was a Negro, to this day the eggs are coloured.
Re: a comment on The Way by Dovina	8-Jan-05/7:24 AM
Yoda says all kinds of grammatically correct things, like "Ah, father. Powerful Jedi was he, powerful Jedi." and "it is much easier to spend time writing comments to poems than actual poems" - stuff like that. -no cookie jar-