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The Christ Omelette (Programming) by horus8 4 Brown Eggs From The Holy Land
A teaspoon of sugar, then one of sand
A half a cup of yak milk from Japan
You're on your way to heaven (havin')
a christ omelette
Golden brown
Delivered by your own hands
Not some religious clown
a christ omelette
An omelette fix
But from the heartland
Not crucifix
a christ omelette
Beat your eggs bloody
add plenty of pepper
Then add the nose
Of a nosey leper
Shout "fucking pariah"
out loud three times
then fetch you some
lime, from 'twixt
Spanish thighs
Inquisition!
Inquisition!
Inquisition!
I'm wishing me a frying pan
I'm in with the holy ghost
Don't need no jam
Don't need no toast
Diced up an onion
shredded me some cheddar
Don't need no ham
Pigs are too clever
For my Christ omelette
My spatula's poised
(Lincoln loved boys)
In my robe, corduroy
I flip the omelette
Think digestion
but please still question
lack of silver-ware
The Christ omelette
Heals
the Christ omelette
Stays fresh
The Christ omelette's
forever
Like mom's tattoo
On my chest
I will not splat the ketchup
i will not splosh the salsa
Yeah his cross was heavy
But my omelette is wholesome
Jesus Christ lives!
In the minds of baby chickens
Just waiting to omelette
Again, and again
For your sin.
Up the ladder:
The Set Back
Down the ladder:
My Fatherâs World
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.6923075
Posted: January 5, 2005 1:05 AM PST; Last modified: January 5, 2005 1:05 AM PSTWeighted score: 6.237176 Overall Rank: 939 Comments:
Crazy in all the right places.
Bravo motherfucker, bravo. The fine cuisine shall be a welcome dish for the pilgrims who journey to the holy city of Ataraxis.
What came first Jesus or the egg? All unecessary blabbery aside, I think this poem is slap-and-paste poetics. One of your avg. reeds. For sneeking up on the unsuspecting I can only hope.
Unfortunately blasphemy is also my arena, and well, I can rock that shit.
The egg came first. Easter is the celebration of Jesu hatching from an egg.
Very few people know that, DA - Kydos to you. And further, since Jesus was a Negro, to this day the eggs are coloured.
Yes, the one thing the Romans didn't bargain for was that Jesu would go on an egg-laying rampage after he died. They should have placed out Negroe traps. Not to harm Jesu, just to hold him in place until he could be removed.
What, if anything, came out of Jesu's eggs?
In case you can't tell, I'm genuinely curious.
Most of Jesu's eggs never hatched; they were either trampled by oaves, stolen by monkeys, or crucified by the Romans. The one documented case of a Jesu egg actually hatching occurred shortly after the resurrection, just south of the little town of Bethlehem. Jesu had layed the egg in one of His many burrows, concealing the entrance with an extraordinarily stained toga. Exercising the sort of prescience one comes to expect from bearded deities, Jesu stuffed huge quantities of straw and rice down the burrow; the egg was well insulated, and survived the winter. Ten days later it emitted cacophonous trumpeting sound, and hatched. Inside nestled the finest pair of sandals in the Bethlehem region.
I just learned today that the word Bethlehem means "House of Ham". This is by far the best thing I've learned from living in the Middle East.
You provide the type of laughter that can save lives, you're a hero.
Puerile drivel.
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(I've decided) is to perniciously
rip off
Dark Angel, but do it well.
Obviously not as well as him,
but well enough for someone
Of my pornographic stature
to achieve a nice pile of wealth.
He actually, gave me the idea
For this poem, well not totally
but he has this thing for omelettes
And jesus, that I find
hilarious, and I thought
Fuck it, why not
A jesus Omelette.
To tell you the truth.