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Veins (Free verse) by helenwales Here in this nest I lie with my eyes barely closed against the thud of
your heartbeat,
The gentle rush of the blood in my veins pulses in time with this
metronome,
There was never a time when I didnât exist,
The latent kinetic energy of your destiny always knew my name,
Faith in god, in breathing while you're asleep,
I existed before you, my root carving a furrow in your future,
The deepest vein of all.
Up the ladder:
Jennifer Entire
Down the ladder:
Irreversible
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.25
Posted: January 11, 2005 3:53 PM PST; Last modified: January 11, 2005 3:53 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.029801 Overall Rank: 7323 Comments:
[5]
jauser @ 63.20.187.61
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11-Jan-05/7:24 PM
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Reply
waaa? I don't get i.
"thud" implies a kind of finality - at least to me, as in it was the last heartbeat. I know, you say "metronome" later - too late.
"Faith in god, in breathing while you're asleep" does this mean god is allowing his lungs (diaphram) to contract and expand? And if this were the case, I would think such a generous entity would deserve a big "G" at least. Can't quite get a grip on this one's meaning - could be the several metaphors - nest/nature, metronome/music, goe/religion, root/no idea. vein/medicine. A riddle of some kind? Thinking... is this the famous egg of the Jesus Omelette??!
'"thud" implies a kind of finality' is my favorite thing on poemranker today.
And the day is still young...
Thud.
It was about a baby. Not a nice presence though. Perhaps an unwanted child. Sometimes babies can feel like a growth with an inevitable, unstoppable birth and impact on your life. (No I don't have children and yes I intend too ;-).
it has the cheek of early Yeats, the wind resistance of byron, and eminems special sauce.
I give it four out of four air pies. 175 view(s)
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