| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
The Poet's Plight (Free verse) by dougsoderstrom Lying there naked in a puddle of blood,
Covered from head to toe,
Hidden from sight for the whole world to see,
Blow on me cold winds...... blow.
The poetâs plight is nothing to behold,
Trapped in a cell all alone,
Waiting for thoughts to turn into words,
His work will remain unknown.
Driven from within by a voice of discontent,
Harbinger of things that might have been,
Poems that pierced the heart of every soul,
Lying at the bottom of an old trash bin.
Up the ladder:
Three Bears
Down the ladder:
Submission
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.3333335
Posted: January 10, 2005 7:38 AM PST; Last modified: January 10, 2005 7:38 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.3585887 Overall Rank: 3313 Comments:
[3]
thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 66.161.179.254
|
10-Jan-05/10:32 AM
|
Reply
First verse, loved/magical things were expected, and then second and third were like I got shit on while pondering the beautiful imagine lain before.
The Negro's Plight: The Whemying
Lying here nude in a puddle of cack, Besmear'd on my hindparts, and phlegmy, Hidden from sight (for I'm terribly black), I'm a Negro and I................. whemy. My behavior, I tell you, is nothing so sinful: Children do it - and even Steve Buscemi Is known to go in for an occassional chin-full Of the feeling we call......... "the whemy". Driven from within, while its virtues I extol And you heathens and non-PhDs condemn me - Oh God! It's happening! Quick! Grab the bowl! It's....................................
You've make a pretty good shot at poetic rhythm here. "Hidden, yet for the world to see" is a good line because it's a prospect to keep one going.
ars poetica, eh? Tough ground, tough ground because there is, imho, an expectation of artfulness in the expression. This one, while not breaking any new, has some nice moments.
I was struck recently by the thought, "it doesn't matter how hard you cried when you wrote it - it don't make it good". This one though, aint bad. 184 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
