regarding some deleted poem...	9-Apr-04/8:05 AM
better.
Re: Polyester Mustache by Bachus	9-Apr-04/10:11 AM
awesome.
Re: Polyester Mustache by Bachus	9-Apr-04/10:13 AM
"... a sled pulled by 10 square feet of rabid ferret" - I said awesome already, right?
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Apr-04/7:03 PM
I do like "God-shaped holes", although the sentiment is one that doesn't quite float my personal boat, I won't hold that against you.
Re: Rough draft of a poetry manifesto by zodiac	10-Apr-04/7:05 PM
I've always like the sound of nemesis.
Re: Of Fortunes and The Future by thepinkbunnyofdoom	10-Apr-04/7:14 PM
Suggestion: The prepositions "In", "Behind", "With" as first words in the first three lines strikes me as complicated; forces the reader (me) to construct these relationships in my wittle brain. Distracting. The specific meaning is vague, but the frustration comes through nonetheless.
Re: Loneliness, Grief, and Other Emotions by MacFrantic	10-Apr-04/7:43 PM
such riddles. That "I" construct is almost workin'
Re: Loneliness, Grief, and Other Emotions by MacFrantic	10-Apr-04/7:43 PM
such riddles. That "I" construct is almost workin'
Re: Lemons Don't Grow by Blindpoetry	10-Apr-04/7:58 PM
"to" s/b "too" "Your face [is] [too] red" "salty onions" is an interesting idea. But, man - this is wordily convoluted - whats it all mean?
Re: bipolar by nentwined	10-Apr-04/8:01 PM
interesting parallels between this and a menstrual cycle.
Re: On the Theme of Melted Pianos by embersandenvelopes	10-Apr-04/8:13 PM
not too shabby. your mission: delete seven words.
Re: One voice by tre	11-Apr-04/7:54 AM
no apostrophe on "nails" Did a pretty good job of putting me in the moment -
Re: Creation of all Things by KnightofMidkemia	11-Apr-04/7:56 AM
I like its unusual slant (that its not about a person), but time to remake the last line.
Re: Jesus Rises from the Grove by wilco	11-Apr-04/9:04 AM
Good storytelling.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Apr-04/1:48 PM
I think "soft red" instead of "red soft" - try it? "gifts and semen" good one! But I think using the word twice detracts quite a bit overall - there must be a hundred other words you could use - I sugges "jiz" because of the alliteration with "jowls". Lots of fresh and interesting language here. Despite the insulting five you just gave me, I shall bless you with a nine. Fives are like "fuck you's" here, so if that's what you meant then - ah, thanks. ;o)
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Apr-04/2:21 PM
cracked me up.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Apr-04/7:47 AM
keep the title as is.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Apr-04/8:15 AM
Hey Ed. This one would *greatly* benefit from far less little words (my broken record peeve). You're painting little pictures here, I don't need to read all these prepositional phrases to see the same thing - they distract the reader. One example, okay - I love this concept of yours: "On the television appear the letters M U T E Television, green letters M U T E you could even toss a descriptor onto television if you wanted. I sincerely believe your poetry, especially this type of poem, will improve significantly if you let go of this desire to fill in all the blanks with little words. You've probably heard this basic rule a hundred times - show, don't tell - these little words are part of the telling; danger danger.
Re: lost memories by ggawrysi	12-Apr-04/12:55 PM
Quite the American University fan club you've got going there ggawrysi.
Re: Ballad for a bad Irish accent by zodiac	12-Apr-04/7:08 PM
Despite some stumbles in the last part of S3 this thing rocks hard from L1 S1 to L8 S5 - Excellent job - you've now earned the right to be an asshole for 3 more months.