regarding some deleted poem...	13-Apr-04/6:39 AM
lowercase e on evolves.
Re: Diary entry (edit) by richa	13-Apr-04/6:05 PM
Well, I'm still a little miffed that you didn't come to my desperate aid on "The People" - but I forgive you. hefty wood pigeon... is this a type of pigeon, or are you telling me the pigeon is hefty and made of wood? I sincerely thought the latter until I started trying to help you come up with a way to say it was hefty without saying "hefty". And now I feel dumb. Is the last stanza part of a question? maple it is, maple it isn't...
Re: Help Me Water The Garden by Blindpoetry	13-Apr-04/6:27 PM
keep the last stanza sans last line and, well... save the rest for another poem. or something.
Re: sum of squares by nentwined	13-Apr-04/6:32 PM
a great flow K, I like a good rhyme when it isn't forced, and this one works well on a non-common sentiment.
Re: China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu	13-Apr-04/6:34 PM
broken here: "I do admit that little fit She threw hampered my clever plot" would rather seen "thrown" not bone rhyme with stone (bone is illogical) "ease so fair" blows.
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Apr-04/7:38 PM
Dan, what have you done? Ahhhh - I get it. :O)
Re: Dear M Foucault, or, How I knew our relationship was doomed by zodiac	14-Apr-04/7:47 PM
LoL. Brilliant. Leets see, you don't have a nine yet...
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Apr-04/8:02 PM
Maybe we like this betterah?
Re: The Idea of Fusion at the Beach (After Wallace Stevens) by coffeespoons	14-Apr-04/8:17 PM
I'll grant you the ending is Stevensish - I'm reminded more of Thoreau with the rest. And there's not too much bad about that.
Re: Diptych by coffeespoons	14-Apr-04/8:23 PM
Help me understand why you consider this a Diptych. Please, I'm not being sarcastic.
Re: forgetful dyke by elizabethann	15-Apr-04/6:18 AM
cute - enjoyable vignette.
Re: Metaphorically Challenged by Enkidu	16-Apr-04/6:34 AM
yep - thats a goodun. But I wonder at the thoughts in your brain that would make tiny children sick.
Re: Suicide Girl by wilco	17-Apr-04/9:18 AM
i really think you could improve the broken car simile - other than that, really well done.
Re: Temporal by Shardik	17-Apr-04/9:21 AM
something here stumps me: "And shadows curling through vista The river, black, snaked in daylight." captital v on vanilla? even with those nits - a rockin 9
Re: Summers Breath on my neck by unouluvme	17-Apr-04/9:22 AM
would be cool if u made this from the perspective of a small rodent.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Apr-04/10:06 AM
I like "benumbing". and now for the other Khrushchevian shoe, comrade: "throw spikes up" reminds one too much of vomit, and the "up" if you weren't counting sylables would never have stayed. And it implies the trees are performing some action, rather than presenting an image. Maybe thats the idea, that we readers happen upon this scene as the trees push through the earth vomiting spikes [up]. Then after they are like torture racks, the same trees are like wheels - that groan [away]. More lousy tacked on prepositions - newbie mistakes. This thing screams out "I don't want to be a sonnet, please take all this gratuitus fluff and burn it like a book of matches that burn like a puppy left too close to a very hot, flaming object, like a fireplace.
Re: I Can Write A Wrong, But I Can't Right A Poem by horus8	17-Apr-04/10:45 AM
cool title, engaging read. Was this a rewrite?
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Apr-04/4:34 PM
You should preface this with [SPOILER]
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Apr-04/7:49 PM
a nice flow, H - prolly could loose some commas at the start, other than that a solid and fresh sentiment.
Re: The painted Chair by Sunshine Conkey	17-Apr-04/7:51 PM
cute. Yeah, not crazy about the title either, whether you like being sat on or not.