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Lemons Don't Grow (Free verse) by Blindpoetry
Please don't bring me down I'm growing to tall Please don't bring me down Your short posture is killing me (its knife is sharp for its kind) Find a tissue to be your ladder Wipe the liquid from your face Spawn solids so you won't sink When you try to stand on them (you'll grow up) Kill the ocean; don't help it Your salty onions could feed a million fish Standing still forgot how to grow And walking forgot how to wait for the other (standing still soul) Your face it to red I can't look at you You were stung by the other bee The bee who could see (where he was going) I was blind; I could not see what I had Finding this place was accidental - I was lead by the sadness Just looking for happiness I guess irony could be the case from both of us (We both bleed from the wound I created)

Up the ladder: Blessing in desguise
Down the ladder: Bad Year

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.7777777
Weighted score: 5.888889
Overall Rank: 1500
Posted: April 10, 2004 7:10 PM PDT; Last modified: April 10, 2004 7:10 PM PDT
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[6] Shuushin @ | 10-Apr-04/7:58 PM | Reply
"to" s/b "too"

"Your face [is] [too] red"

"salty onions" is an interesting idea. But, man - this is wordily convoluted - whats it all mean?
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ > Shuushin | 10-Apr-04/10:11 PM | Reply
the poem, itself, just expresses my hurt feelings from an old relationship from a time ago...

It means I'm in grief and sorry for the sadness I started...

...I think, anyways....
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ > Shuushin | 10-Apr-04/10:12 PM | Reply
..and yeah - I seem to like to write my poetry in a rush and huridly edit it... Thats a bad habit that I need to fix.
[n/a] deleted user @ > Blindpoetry | 11-Apr-04/8:33 AM | Reply
It's not a bad habit. But why post before it's ready?
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ > deleted user | 11-Apr-04/11:07 AM | Reply
I lack the ability to catch small mistakes maybe?

I'd think its done - until after posting do I see more mistakes...
[9] dancin_n_da_moonlite @ | 16-Jan-05/9:34 PM | Reply
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