Re: a comment on Coagulated Sentences by J.B. Manning	25-Sep-03/4:41 PM
Good try, but I think my flow sounds better.
Re: a comment on Coagulated Sentences by J.B. Manning	25-Sep-03/2:01 PM
better?
Re: a comment on Strung Out On Sunlight by J.B. Manning	23-Sep-03/10:42 AM
multi-character thought patterns...
Re: a comment on Strung Out On Sunlight by J.B. Manning	18-Sep-03/10:52 AM
sleep deprevation caused by meth. "I could find much of one?"
Re: a comment on Cyber Junkie by J.B. Manning	17-Sep-03/10:48 AM
Manner is correct, die is correct also...it's kind of a tricky line meant to mean what it means as it's writen, whatever it means to you. Thanks
Re: a comment on Cyber Junkie by J.B. Manning	17-Sep-03/9:30 AM
Thanks! I edited it. HAHA, I hate when I let those overly poetic attempts to sound mystifying get in the way of real writing.
Re: a comment on Ode to My Crack by J.B. Manning	11-Sep-03/10:07 AM
Thanks for the tips Joe. I was actually planning on revising all of these works while writing some new stuff. Most of my current pieces are from last year when I was recovering from addictions. Once I was clear minded enough to complete a full sentence, I needed to expell these negative energies. Now it's time to revise and polish.
Re: a comment on Ode to My Crack by J.B. Manning	10-Sep-03/2:43 PM
haha, yeah that will save the day! Let's ALL get our buttocks amputated.
Re: Mourning Glory by William Delacroix	10-Sep-03/12:55 PM
It's pretty good. It's not one of your best, but it's good. Um, I don't think you can use that last line though. I think even using a single line that someone else wrote is still Plagiarism, isn't it?
Re: What you know by INTRANSIT	10-Sep-03/12:50 PM
I like the content, but the flow is somewhat choppy, hard to follow. Nice thought.
Re: On getting back by horus8	9-Sep-03/3:29 PM
Damn...that's one good piece. I'm impressed.
Re: a comment on Fury by J.B. Manning	9-Sep-03/10:32 AM
We slipped into sadness? Is that a reference to my poem? I don't get the connection. That isn't a verse from this poem.
Re: a comment on Failure by Nicholas Jones	9-Sep-03/10:01 AM
There is no "Perfect Record," in time. Only or recollection of it. Write on, my friend. You have talent.
Re: a comment on none by tadpole	8-Sep-03/4:48 PM
Tad, I think this has a LOT of potential. I'm no expert, but I know a good piece when I see one. I think if you worked on it, lengthen it, focused your energy like a fine tuned lazar, baby, you've had a nice red hot spot in the middle of the board.
Re: Help The Aged by Mr Pig	8-Sep-03/2:23 PM
Mr. Pig, good piece. Hey, can you elaborate on your suggestion for my poem, "Fury," I'm not exactly clear on what you meant. Thanks.
Re: Failure by Nicholas Jones	8-Sep-03/11:26 AM
Interesting. I wonder if you could expand this. Or add more lines, more feeling, more examples. It seems like there is so much more to it. Pretty good though.
Re: 'Till Then by sliver	8-Sep-03/11:22 AM
I like the message, but I want to say that it could be massaged a bit. I think you already have a good sense of the rhythm you want for this poem, but it seems a little...unedited maybe. I do like it, don't get me wrong, but I wanted to suggest some improvement because I think it's well deserved and would make this piece so much better. It has potential.
Re: a comment on Child of my Buttocks by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	8-Sep-03/11:04 AM
aw, look, Darky's wishfully thinking again, hoping to find a soul mate. Come over here Darky, I'll let you play with my crucifix dildo. It's LOVELY, vibrates in three speeds. :-)
Re: pErFeCt pAiN by William Delacroix	8-Sep-03/10:54 AM
The imagry is wonderful, the passion deadly, and the verse completely beautiful. 10 from me my friend. May I aspire to your skill.
Re: a comment on Why by J.B. Manning	8-Sep-03/10:48 AM
I think so too, not being a God willing man myself. Where would you suggest? Somewhere to maintain the passion of the question...