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Strung Out On Sunlight (Free verse) by J.B. Manning I havenât slept in days
Everything seems so far away
Except for dreams
Nightmares maybe
A dog barks in the distance
Itâs echo sparks a series of hallucinations
Like lying my face on a fault line
People pass me on the street
I blink away their movements
Light gives me a migraine
And everythingâs the same
A melting pot of puke and twisted fait
A crack on the sidewalk reminds me
of some grand adventure
That I never really had
Iâve reinvented myself so many times
I canât remember my own name
Itâs 3am on Monday
or maybe Thursday of next week
Time is linear and I blink away its movements
Up the ladder:
pErFeCt pAiN
Down the ladder:
minotaur
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Posted: September 17, 2003 9:34 AM PDT; Last modified: September 17, 2003 9:34 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.119203 Overall Rank: 5638 Comments:
Sounds like a good night out gone baaaaaad
I like it - the beginning is strong. I might suggest having a second look at the ending, as it left me wanting. Perhaps the last line isn't even necessary? Leaving the poem as you started, with a sense of disorientation (It's 3am on Monday / or maybe Thursday of next week) might be more effective.
Just a suggestion. Nice work either way. 203 view(s)
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hmm. meth makes it make a lot more sense. odd, that.
good though. i can tell you actually had some experience with sleep dep and meth.