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Cyber Junkie (Free verse) by J.B. Manning Iâm am a slut to lifeâs conjuncture
A symptom of conjecture
The human condition
Iâm sick with it
We stink of it
And wallow in it happily
Merrily dancing in shit
Like the pigs from which we eat
Devouring our very form
As it lies beneath our feet
Reflecting our purity
Or the illusion of it
Man and beast are but severed by our thoughts
Nothing short of time can commend the dying
And everything between us is a lie
âTis life of which I speak
this manor of it fades into the night
as into day
not walking, but falling we are
and laughing still today
where many men have faced their dreams
and children in their nightmare days would scream
thereâs little left to assume
between our very own connections
and I am rotting inside beside you
With a wisp of wanting breath I die
Into the depths of my own conception
Dance with me my devil child
Dance
We are superstars and no one else can see us
Jack in cyber junkie
Iâve got what you need
On your knees
I said On Your Knees!
Up the ladder:
A new beginning
Down the ladder:
body image
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.8
Posted: September 16, 2003 9:33 AM PDT; Last modified: September 17, 2003 9:30 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.095362 Overall Rank: 6094 Comments:
[7]
nentwined @ 209.31.226.178
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16-Sep-03/12:51 PM
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Reply
not bad. a couple stumbles, but enjoyable. [[I'm am but a slut?]]
[n/a]
J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24
> nentwined
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17-Sep-03/9:30 AM
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Reply
Thanks! I edited it. HAHA, I hate when I let those overly poetic attempts to sound mystifying get in the way of real writing.
I like all of the references to rotting and impurity, it reminds me of those internet addicts who work as TA's in college computer labs with their greasy, unbathed appearances and smells- you know the ones who hang out in the lab even when they are off the clock. Exactly.
Yep, but pray tell? What if I sold my knees last week for twenty five quail eggs and an omellette named 'what was that whistle'?
pleasantly fun. a couple points where I'm not sure if you meant what you say or not (manor or manner? both make sense... "a wisp of wanting breath?" waning? or... I can kinda see wanting, but not quite a wisp of it. leaning towards wanting "separated by our thoughts" to be "separated by our thought" ...
"die" into the depths, or "dive" into the depths? cna see both, but it's not entirely clear that it's not a typo. 7.5, leaning towards 7 for now.
Manner is correct, die is correct also...it's kind of a tricky line meant to mean what it means as it's writen, whatever it means to you.
Thanks
i was afraid of that. :)
lines are a bit too tricky, just because I'd rather be sure you mean what's written when reading. But ... that could just be how my mind is working at the moment. I enjoyed the poem regardless. :)
Some pretty good lines in this and interesting
enough to hold my interest. 254 view(s)
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