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Coagulated Sentences (Free verse) by J.B. Manning
it Sickens me to See your Silly Smile So Silently Seductive your Complexities Consume my every Complicated thought and leave me Cold Stop Sucking up my Strength with Silence that Stretches thinner than my Stomach lining every time you Say I’m Sorry Contemplate the meaning of your Constipated Context while I Continue to ignore you without Style you Say to me you're Stricken with Some Symptom of Severity and Still I Say without a Smile Goodbye!

Up the ladder: Blood
Down the ladder: I'm Aboard

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.2
Weighted score: 4.904638
Overall Rank: 9833
Posted: September 24, 2003 3:24 PM PDT; Last modified: September 25, 2003 1:59 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.145.93 | 24-Sep-03/6:07 PM | Reply
"then my Stomach lining" (than)
"your Stricken with" (you're)
[n/a] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > http://mulberryfairy | 25-Sep-03/2:01 PM | Reply
better?
[4] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.209 | 25-Sep-03/4:35 PM | Reply
I could clarify this claptrap with a clairvoyant clang of my clavichord.
[n/a] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 25-Sep-03/4:41 PM | Reply
Good try, but I think my flow sounds better.
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