poemranker ::Coagulated Sentences by J.B. Manning

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Free verse № 66754

Coagulated Sentences

by J.B. Manning

Member since 2003 · Posted 24 Sep 2003 · Edited 25 Sep 2003 · 4 comments

it Sickens me to See your Silly Smile So Silently Seductive your Complexities Consume my every Complicated thought and leave me Cold Stop Sucking up my Strength with Silence that Stretches thinner than my Stomach lining every time you Say I’m Sorry Contemplate the meaning of your Constipated Context while I Continue to ignore you without Style you Say to me you're Stricken with Some Symptom of Severity and Still I Say without a Smile Goodbye!

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mean 4.20 weighted 4.90 rank 9817 views 212 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

4 comments

[7] http://mulberryfairy 24-Sep-03/6:07 PM Reply
"then my Stomach lining" (than)
"your Stricken with" (you're)
[n/a] J.B. Manning › http://mulberryfairy 25-Sep-03/2:01 PM Reply
better?
[4] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 25-Sep-03/4:35 PM Reply
I could clarify this claptrap with a clairvoyant clang of my clavichord.
[n/a] J.B. Manning › ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 25-Sep-03/4:41 PM Reply
Good try, but I think my flow sounds better.