Re: A Lovely Surprise by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	7-Sep-03/4:56 PM
I love the "crisply laid stool" part. They don't make toys like they used to!
Re: canto di desiderio by Bill Z Bub	8-Sep-03/8:06 PM
La parte che ha tradotto correttamente era bella. L'ultima linea avete detto, "Sapete that urlano for you". Elaborereste su questa linea?
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Sep-03/9:27 AM
I enjoyed it. These two lines: "it becomes the uninvited unwieldy hands bring winter’s chill" seem to need a "who" or "that" to be clear.
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Sep-03/9:32 AM
Nice.
Re: (limits of ambition) by richa	9-Sep-03/9:34 AM
Is this a rewrite, seems like I've seen part of it before. Nice job.
Re: I Usually Wear Pants by razorgrin	9-Sep-03/9:39 AM
And why would they?
Re: museheart is internationally published by scitz	9-Sep-03/9:42 AM
It is called "the dozens".
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Oct-03/11:17 AM
Beautiful. It feels like it needs a comma in the last line after "will". Nice, dense, allusions.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Oct-03/11:29 AM
I think you should move the sign on the outside of the church to the beginning of the poem, before you reveal what the priest is doing because everything is already revealed at the end, and makes the last line feel unnecessary. I like a little social commentary poetry. I loved that the insecticide was included in the list of church "needs". You know, a lot of people overlook sexually abusive nuns. I have a friend who grew up on a reservation and he said if you got in trouble the nuns would make you sit under their desk, facing the chair (their crotch), while they scooted up and sat at their desk. He said he could still smell them. These Catholic schools they put on the reservations were funded by the state to civilize the Native people (so much for separation of church and state), yet they would solicit for contributions on Sundays "for the poor people" and my friend, a rebel and a thinker, wondered why the church wasn't putting any money into the reservation, because people there were destitute. Not that you asked, but I think it is a disgusting bit of history(?) and would work in confrontational poems like this.
Re: Winter Lands: I by http://bandgeek	7-Dec-03/6:59 PM
Winter Lands: II This winter, a new land to explore, suburban chickens peck over frozen ground. Salt water freezes on bluegreen estuary banks’ sloping glaze, as inviting as a waterslide in spite of eternal, internal struggle of salty ice. Clots of snow form on stilled river like frothing yeast in lukewarm water. Gentle spray over the dam freezes into frosty stalagmites: upside-down icicles reaching toward clouds. The traffic on Main Street comprises of privately owned pick up trucks with yellow plows attached on their way to rescue those who can pay. Shovelers relocate dense snow, one 12 x 16 x 8 inch rectangle at a time the satisfying fulfillment of metal scraping gravel struggles to be heard over obliviously aimed snowblower motors who fan their plumes of snow onto shovelers’ now diminutive accomplishments. In this land, it is so easy. Let the car hide under that mass, safety is not the certainty of an accessible city bus every fifteen minutes. Safety is hibernation behind storm windows among flannel and housecats, feeling assured, there is nothing to do out there anyway.
Re: Inoculation by bamf909	15-Jul-05/7:58 PM
funny, you should do public health commercials
Re: Moving Up by jessicazee	15-Jul-05/8:01 PM
nice collage of details
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jul-05/8:03 PM
all right!
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jul-05/8:07 PM
I feel like I walked in on something I wasn't supposed to see.
Re: Why I Bother by empire942	15-Jul-05/8:11 PM
I stay awake at night thinking about whey too, when I am not thinking of bulgar or tempeh or grape tomatoes or heartbreak.
Re: Only I wish I could say.. by PunkyPanda	15-Jul-05/8:14 PM
I didn't see the happy ending coming.
Re: When the World Forgets by TLRufener	15-Jul-05/8:17 PM
I agree with jessicazee, you talked about a kind of pain, but I couldn't really empathize- even though I imagine it is real, in some respect, for you/your narrator.
Re: Birth, school, work and death. by darby pyn	15-Jul-05/8:22 PM
The ending lines were like rapid fire- but climatically worthy. Were you disregarding where the line breaks fell? It seems like this would be more poignant if one didn't have to scroll around to read the lines, and if the line breaks were placed strategically.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jul-05/8:32 PM
I have totally been there! You really captured the way that images refuse to allow us to lapse into forgetfulness, forgiveness, and healing. Ruthless is misspelled (unless that is some alternant spelling), and you might want an apostrophe for "truths".
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jul-05/8:35 PM
I am sorry to say but "soft flowing hair" is about as cliche as a shampoo commercial. How about some substance here, why else would your narrator care to mention her hair?