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When the World Forgets (Free verse) by TLRufener
The world closes its eyes When the sun goes down The candles begin to sparkle And the moon starts to shine Lost and defenseless I roam alone and scared When the world forgets I become dust in the wind Eyes tightly closed I am swept under the rug But they’ll never miss me Because I am nothing The frozen cold breeze Leads me as a forgotten child When the world forgets I am cast off the road To make room Everyone pushes past And throws me aside for themselves When I am locked away and hidden They steal my soul When the world forgets I become a shadow chased by the sun All I know and can live Is darkness Evil thrives in my vacant shell As I commit crimes My self-control fades Just as my shadow And I crave every essence of hell When the world forgets Innocence disappears Each time the sun Erases the stars

Up the ladder: The Shack
Down the ladder: Shadows In Your Eyes

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.6666667
Weighted score: 4.6414113
Overall Rank: 12401
Posted: July 12, 2005 3:38 PM PDT; Last modified: July 12, 2005 3:38 PM PDT
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Comments:
[6] jessicazee @ 152.163.100.135 | 13-Jul-05/11:06 PM | Reply
The sentiment deserves more. And Kansas deserves credit for your "dust in the wind." However, I think your form and rhythm are smart. For whatever you take my opinion for.
[7] http://bandgeek @ 216.195.164.111 | 15-Jul-05/8:17 PM | Reply
I agree with jessicazee, you talked about a kind of pain, but I couldn't really empathize- even though I imagine it is real, in some respect, for you/your narrator.
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