poemranker ::Only I wish I could say.. by PunkyPanda

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 103112

Only I wish I could say..

Member since 2003 · Posted 24 May 2004 · Edited 12 Jul 2005 · 7 comments

I can't go on without you, I'm too weak. I can't say those words to you, they're too hard to speak. Am I that good at hiding the secret, the one between two friends? The friends you said we'd be until the very end? It's time for me to come outwith it, but I don't think I can. I'm afraid of losing our friendship, I, which you will ban My breath's getting shorter, faster beats my chest. I come out with "I" but I can't say the rest. Your eyes grow weary, you put your arm around me. I look in your eyes, and suddenly I can see. That what I want to say to you, you want to say to me. I finally say "love" and the whole world slows down. the last word, I need say, before in my fears I drown. "You" there, it's out, I can breath, I can feel my heart again. Will we still be friends 'till the very end? I look at you once more in your eyes so blue, Then I hear the sweetest words ever, "I love you too"

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mean 1.75 weighted 4.61 rank 12454 views 222 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

7 comments

[n/a] PunkyPanda 24-May-04/10:01 AM Reply
Yeah,this is about a friend and what I wish would have happened when I told him I liked him.
[10] zodiac 24-May-04/10:50 AM Reply
Oh my!
[5] sliver 24-May-04/9:10 PM Reply
the third stanza is um, no bueno, si? other than that, probably a 6 or 7.
[n/a] PunkyPanda 27-May-04/9:54 AM Reply
Yeah, by the 3rd stanza I was tired and just really didin't put much effort into it,Lol. Thanks for the comment though!
[10] nothingtoanyone 27-May-04/10:11 PM Reply
Hello my Yello Jell-o just to let you know I'm right here for you and dont let a guy get you down.

love always your friend,
A. Person
[1] LilMsLadyPoet 13-Jul-05/3:03 PM Reply
I am thinking you are young...keep writing, this is sweet and a look into young-ness. I give you credit for correct spelling...not one mistake! (which is more than I can say about a lot of people who post! (Other than> 'outwith'...but I figured a typo!) You got too wordy in places> 'before in my fears I drown.'& 'I, which you will ban'. My advise is to write as you speak, as you hear it said in your head...let it just flow as-is, then clean it up and work on anything that doesn't work.
[5] http://bandgeek 15-Jul-05/8:14 PM Reply
I didn't see the happy ending coming.