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Birth, school, work and death. (Free verse) by darby pyn
I am kinetic and I scream for revenge. I am benign and passive between the cleavage of my apathy. I am decoration and I do what I am told. so promiscuous I am with my consent I taper like a funnel and pour myself out till nothing is left. my coda is loose soil with no vestige of significance to insure immortality. my name will have no memory past the fragile circle of nepotism I call home. it’s so heavy above and so lonely below while the middle gets farther everyday. the creamy filling of affirmation looses it’s sweetness when the mirror hates it’s reflection and is shattered by it’s honesty. I lost my voice in my war with me and now suffer from asphyxia just waiting for my horizontal atonement beneath a nameless headstone in a deserted pasture to be grazed upon and start again. with my visceral sunset on a green plain I will no longer be an effigy but alive.

Down the ladder: Cataclysm and Echo

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Weighted score: 4.976287
Overall Rank: 8265
Posted: July 12, 2005 1:48 PM PDT; Last modified: July 12, 2005 1:48 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 71.130.125.229 | 13-Jul-05/12:04 PM | Reply
you left out the line "I've got shmelgass in my gonectagazoink."
[n/a] darby pyn @ 207.200.116.197 > Bankrupt_Word_Clerk | 15-Jul-05/10:41 PM | Reply
haahhaa. what the hell?
[9] http://bandgeek @ 216.195.164.111 | 15-Jul-05/8:22 PM | Reply
The ending lines were like rapid fire- but climatically worthy. Were you disregarding where the line breaks fell? It seems like this would be more poignant if one didn't have to scroll around to read the lines, and if the line breaks were placed strategically.
[n/a] darby pyn @ 207.200.116.197 > http://bandgeek | 15-Jul-05/10:43 PM | Reply
I'll put stsnza's next time.

thank you bandgeek.
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