| Re: The Dark Days of Aristotle by somemorepoetry |
9-Jan-06/7:26 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Jan-06/7:29 PM |
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songlike. Seems you could tighten up some of the language.
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| Re: [] by Prince of Void |
9-Jan-06/7:32 PM |
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why not spell out p.o.v.- we had to scroll to the right anyway for the honking last line
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| Re: Uncontrolled scribblings one luch break by Nicholas Jones |
9-Jan-06/7:36 PM |
I didn't get this use of "retain"
False snow on an allotment to retain, perhaps
or to retain warmth
sorry for being so traditionalist, but the "+" and the date were eyesores
it was good in spite of all that.
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| Re: Reckoning by <~> |
9-Jan-06/7:40 PM |
powerful and real- I'm totally believing it.
I like the lightness and how you play it with the
reality that it is serious and painful, too.
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| Re: Window Washer (midtown) by ecargo |
10-Jan-06/8:06 PM |
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mission accomplished- you made a mundane subject into a dance
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| Re: Flow by zodiac |
10-Jan-06/8:09 PM |
beautiful,
nice word choices
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
10-Jan-06/8:13 PM |
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I can't tell if you are joking "like the sea you cannot sea"?
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| Re: Suck by MacFrantic |
10-Jan-06/8:16 PM |
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whose dirge- I got lost there- she is dead and therefore belied to your aliveness?
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| Re: Tulip by richa |
10-Jan-06/8:26 PM |
seems like you are forcing some words in here for the sake of your meter- the poor tulip boy has poor taste "that" he loves... (for?)(as?)that doesn't seem to be the right definitive article. Ignoring your meter, I would take out the "that" completely, then remove the "ands" in the 3rd and 4th lines.
with neither purse nor name (why so many articles?)
I like the dichotomy of him loving his plot, but being on a wage- puzzling.
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| Re: The chestnut by richa |
10-Jan-06/8:30 PM |
"Dates have become misaligned
or places"
I didn't get the "or places"
The rest is great.
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| Re: the light of a truly bright day by digipoet |
10-Jan-06/8:31 PM |
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well done- we had one of those bright days today
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| Re: Settling in by INTRANSIT |
15-Mar-06/2:38 PM |
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nice, how about spring though? "its" should replace "it's"
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| Re: Endless Battle by rahson_s |
15-Mar-06/2:39 PM |
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I like the kind of manic feel of this, it makes it more convincing.
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| Re: Alfredo by Caducus |
22-Aug-07/5:30 PM |
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Is calomine an alternate spelling of calamine, and was the vineyard actually a grove of poison ivy?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
22-Aug-07/6:02 PM |
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| Re: reptile by ThePariahDog |
22-Aug-07/6:13 PM |
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Who gave this a zero and didn't comment? It is hard to work the word chitin into a poem! Nice mix of the literal and metaphoric: carpenter as god, carpenter ant, etc.
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| Re: beef flavored ramen by ThePariahDog |
22-Aug-07/6:18 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
22-Aug-07/6:27 PM |
justice?
in the stock market?
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| Re: Church Propagation by Dovina |
24-Aug-07/2:48 PM |
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I like the whole package, don't listen to the theist sheep.
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