| Re: YOU ARE ALL WANKERS! by Bobjim |
13-Jan-03/11:39 AM |
|
not gettin' one. so there.
|
|
|
 |
| Re: haiku 1 by Crakyamuni |
13-Jan-03/11:48 AM |
is this about partial birth abortion
? well? IS IT!!!!!!???
|
|
|
|
| Re: alienheart by Bill Z Bub |
13-Jan-03/11:54 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: a poet in the city by Bill Z Bub |
13-Jan-03/11:55 AM |
i'm sure you are talking about dahlia, because they come in rally cool purply colors. zinnias don't smell, and are usually red, orange, yellow, or pink. usually. so, if they had a disceranble-to-humans smell, it probably would be reddish.
now lilacs and buddleia, those are some purple-smeeling flowers. thanks for the compliment.
|
|
|
|
| Re: RAP MASTER by UAFANTHORPEY |
13-Jan-03/11:57 AM |
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
13-Jan-03/11:58 AM |
|
bein' vegan. where it's at.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
13-Jan-03/11:59 AM |
|
it feeds moss. and lichen.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Retreived by T'ien |
13-Jan-03/3:31 PM |
|
i never lost a tim, but i lost a dave and an art and a charles, one time. i think. but i don't really remember. they were all tools anyway. they followed their sheep around, just like in your poem!!!
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
13-Jan-03/3:50 PM |
nice, but not really factual. cat hunt as much by sound as by sight.
do over!
|
|
|
|
| Re: The shirt I wore to dinner. by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
13-Jan-03/7:05 PM |
|
beautiful! wasabi for everyone! on me, motherfuckah!!!!
|
|
|
|
| Re: strange beds (1989) by Bill Z Bub |
13-Jan-03/7:46 PM |
|
mr bub, this is leaps and bounds beyond the first draft. kudos.
|
|
|
|
| Re: 'Fucky Fucky 5 Dollar' by scitz |
15-Jan-03/10:18 AM |
obviously, you had either been served quite a few when you wrote this, or were so deranged from want of drink, that this was like a DT revelation for you. funny story, but what did you learn from the experience? except, of course, how to go both ways? snoggity snog snog.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
15-Jan-03/11:44 AM |
|
Tintagiles, you had me all along. the words were very much your own, as was the joy and the longing. then...the last line...everything collapsed. you cheapened your passion for this beautiful woman, by making it a thing that had been done so many times before, recalling the reader to something almost cliche. now, i understand you meant to say something like, as beautiful as music heard in a golden age, or maybe, played on harps unstrung, or some other reference to something magical and untouchable... maybe it's just me, the whole of it is beautiful, until the very last line, where you use an oft-repeated device, and one that is not truly your own voice.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Tom & Jerry by Bachus |
15-Jan-03/1:36 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: Break Dancing Charlie by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
15-Jan-03/10:28 PM |
was it my tape deck?
why must you ?
never mind.
watch out for the gas when you drop them in the tank.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Anchored pockets by INTRANSIT |
15-Jan-03/10:36 PM |
if you change the 2nd line to this:
thus becoming lazy
and the last to this:
but it won't make me move.
your rhyming will be easier on the brain, and your meter on the ear.
|
|
|
|
| Re: the midget of humiliation by Bill Z Bub |
15-Jan-03/10:42 PM |
some very nice moments.
your last stanza feels incomplete (though beautiful) to me.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Anchored pockets by INTRANSIT |
15-Jan-03/10:43 PM |
|
dammit. why is no one ever awake when i am?
|
|
|
|
| Re: The Poem of an Eighth-Grader by jessicazee |
15-Jan-03/10:55 PM |
very sweet. excellent idea for a poem. nice comparison.
okay, adult crticism, since you posted on an adult site:
dandelions don't lose color at night; they close up. it's really cool to watch. so, lesson #1: write about what you know. that being said, the 'help' page on this site has some great references. this is one of my favorites:
http://www.uni.edu/english/craft/imagery.html
keep up the good work!
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
15-Jan-03/11:03 PM |
l'homme p-p: voulez-vous couchez avec moi, ce soir?
le moutarde: mais non! buzz off!
|
|
|
|
