replying on becoming by <~>
4 Jun 2004, 6:02 AM
Or rather http://tinyurl.com/yscgz
on Tony Blair's sagging purple johnny by Stephen Robins
21 May 2004, 8:17 AM
Shuperb. Really shuperb.
By the way, I've just taken delivery of a case of this: http://tinyurl.com/2anck
It's very reasonably priced for such an excellent wine. I suggest you order a case or two yourself.
By the way, I've just taken delivery of a case of this: http://tinyurl.com/2anck
It's very reasonably priced for such an excellent wine. I suggest you order a case or two yourself.
replying on The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
21 May 2004, 7:12 AM
I don't own a television, old boy.
replying on Re-drafting by Nicholas Jones
21 May 2004, 7:06 AM
BOY: "Hello, my dear. You look radiant this evening. Can I get you a drink? My name's Nicholas Jones. I won the Melben G. Glasscock Center for Humanities Research Prize in Historical Literary Studies."
GIRL: [Speechless]
GIRL: [Speechless]
on Re-drafting by Nicholas Jones
20 May 2004, 9:59 AM
How did it feel to win the Melben G. Glasscock Center for Humanities Research Prize in Historical Literary Studies?
replying on The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
14 May 2004, 10:15 AM
Surely my weeble-like figure ensures that I can wobble around the coffee shop without falling over.
http://tinyurl.com/37kal
http://tinyurl.com/2zo5c
http://tinyurl.com/2lxcq
http://tinyurl.com/37kal
http://tinyurl.com/2zo5c
http://tinyurl.com/2lxcq
replying on The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
14 May 2004, 10:11 AM
Rad!
replying on The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
14 May 2004, 10:10 AM
And I dub thee with a shitty stick. Arise, Sir Quimston.
replying on The Plea of the Beneathednessified (New poetry scheme!) by Enkidu
14 May 2004, 10:09 AM
Perhaps the entire poem would benefit from punctuation.
As, indeed, would your poems and comments. You big homo.
As, indeed, would your poems and comments. You big homo.
replying on The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
14 May 2004, 10:06 AM
73/M/Royal Courts of Justice, Strand, London
replying on The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
14 May 2004, 5:55 AM
Have you been employed by Her Majesty's Commission for Numbers to improve the image of the number six? I can think of no other explanation for your recent obsession with the said number. -6-
replying on The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
14 May 2004, 5:52 AM
Is that better?
replying on The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
14 May 2004, 5:41 AM
How would he know? He's not a lawyer. And neither I am. You see, it's all been a hideous misunderstanding. I'm not a barrister; I'm a barista (i.e. an employee of a coffee shop).
See http://coffeetea.about.com/library/gloss
See http://coffeetea.about.com/library/gloss
replying on Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone
5 May 2004, 12:04 PM
P.S. I will be contacting the F.B.I. in due course.
on Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone
5 May 2004, 12:02 PM
... FIRST WE WITNESSED THE BIRTH OF AN IDEA ...
29-Mar-04/7:57 AM: "I don't mean poets shouldn't try to write about those things, but they would have to be more careful doing it than, say, writing about ducks with AIDS or appropriate beard materials for homemade Negro Jesuses, since so many people have written about Love and so on before and hardly anyone has written about ducks and Jesuses - sadly."
... THEN WE WERE GIVEN TEASINGLY CRYPTIC PROMISES ...
21-Apr-04/7:47 PM: "The best title in ages is "Beard My Homemade Negro Jesus", coming soon to poemranker!"
... AGAIN WE HEARD RUMOURS OF THE IMPENDING MASTERWORK ...
22-Apr-04/5:02 PM: "I think Justin would be more impressed if you wrote poems about non-Justin things for a change, like Beard Materials for Homemade Negro Jesuses. No offense, just my opinion, etc etc etc etc etc."
... AND NOW, AFTER MANY SLEEPLESS NIGHTS WRESTLING TO BREAK FREE FROM THE GILDED HARNESSE OF COMMON DECENCY, THE POEME OF THE YEAR HAS BEEN UNLEASHED ...
29-Mar-04/7:57 AM: "I don't mean poets shouldn't try to write about those things, but they would have to be more careful doing it than, say, writing about ducks with AIDS or appropriate beard materials for homemade Negro Jesuses, since so many people have written about Love and so on before and hardly anyone has written about ducks and Jesuses - sadly."
... THEN WE WERE GIVEN TEASINGLY CRYPTIC PROMISES ...
21-Apr-04/7:47 PM: "The best title in ages is "Beard My Homemade Negro Jesus", coming soon to poemranker!"
... AGAIN WE HEARD RUMOURS OF THE IMPENDING MASTERWORK ...
22-Apr-04/5:02 PM: "I think Justin would be more impressed if you wrote poems about non-Justin things for a change, like Beard Materials for Homemade Negro Jesuses. No offense, just my opinion, etc etc etc etc etc."
... AND NOW, AFTER MANY SLEEPLESS NIGHTS WRESTLING TO BREAK FREE FROM THE GILDED HARNESSE OF COMMON DECENCY, THE POEME OF THE YEAR HAS BEEN UNLEASHED ...
on California triolets by zodiac
5 May 2004, 2:32 AM
I will be contacting the F.B.I.
on It's A Long Way From Heaven by Blindpoetry
28 Apr 2004, 2:19 AM
Ace
-10-
-10-
on exist by the indign
27 Apr 2004, 1:15 AM
And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.
And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.
But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtle man.
And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.
And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.
So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.
Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him meat.
So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.
And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.
And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.
And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.
And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.
And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.
Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.
Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.
And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her.
Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.
And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king's daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her.
And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying.
And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house.
But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth.
And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.
2 Samuel 13:1 â 13:22
And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.
But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtle man.
And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.
And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.
So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.
Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him meat.
So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.
And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.
And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.
And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.
And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.
And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.
Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.
Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.
And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her.
Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.
And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king's daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her.
And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying.
And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house.
But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth.
And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.
2 Samuel 13:1 â 13:22