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It's A Long Way From Heaven (Free verse) by Blindpoetry I promise to play
That green checkered game
If you promise to unleash
The unspoken words from your heart
I like to watch you like a bird
With binoculars in one hand
The other looking at your...
...beautiful collaboration of family ties
I see a reason to live
-To survive you
In a game of colorful aspects
Colliding against my will of misfortune
I like to watch you like a bird
With a glove on one hand
The other petting your...
...Beautiful collaboration of family genes
I hit the ceiling fan
And my heart ripped open
you promised to let me go
you promised to show me how to do so
I like to watch you like a bird
With a gun in one hand
The other aiming like your knife
That stabbed my ugly collaboration of mixed family viruses...
Up the ladder:
Death In The Cherry Brook Nursing Home
Down the ladder:
Black Belt
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.4
Posted: April 27, 2004 5:31 PM PDT; Last modified: April 27, 2004 5:31 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.7 Overall Rank: 1957 Comments:
[8]
zodiac @ 152.18.33.197
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27-Apr-04/5:35 PM
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Reply
"Colliding against my will of misfortune" is the main bad part. The rest is okay.
I see the progress from infatuation to failure with a family in the way, but some lines are vague: "colorful aspects" "I hit the ceiling fan"
Ace
-10-
very interesting......though perhaps.......a little too long................i give it ...........a 6
I wonder if my last comment influenced you on this descision.
Whatever. Thanks. :) 268 view(s)
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