Re: poetry by nrevatehtni	5-Jun-02/8:56 AM
hey, "Daaaaaaark Aaaaaangel", you are such a complete idiot. I love the advice you gave MarkWells - you know, to actually read some poetry before writing some poetry. Well, this poem you've insulted is actually a quite famous poem by Neruda (although, I don't suppose you've ever heard of him). Anyhow, this was once a useful site, Kaolin, but not since it's been populated by people who get off on insulting decent work for kicks. Clearly, industrious people like you, dark angel, should get off your ass and do some work for a living. You must lead a very sad, lonely life. I bet your parents never loved you. Why don't you slit your wrists and get it over with. Your poems and comments are an obvious plea for help. I hope you rot.
Re: Pleasurable Agony by crims0ngh0st	22-Apr-02/11:30 AM
try reading miller.
Re: Ahyuim by Modulo	22-Apr-02/11:29 AM
nice rhythm. But what are you saying?
Re: All teeth when not. by ifni	22-Apr-02/11:27 AM
sucker
Re: voluntary, premature expulsion of fetal tissue by skaskowski	22-Apr-02/11:27 AM
dismal
Re: she did not by mitchski	22-Apr-02/11:25 AM
this has promise.
Re: Sloth and Expectation by ifni	22-Apr-02/11:24 AM
bravo
Re: nation by roses are read	10-Apr-02/8:35 AM
what are you talking about?
Re: conundrum, part 1 by poetekzen	8-Apr-02/8:25 AM
jazzy.... nice word plays
Re: Sperm Donor Clown by ObiWonKn	8-Apr-02/8:18 AM
interesting images of distortion and unease... try to keep going with this. I think if you're going to use the clown metaphor, you might try finding a metaphor for "sperm donor", too.
Re: Laughter by crims0ngh0st	8-Apr-02/8:14 AM
there must be a better way to say "you fondle my mind from the inside" and "oozes from my every pore" is not only slightly gross, but also v. cliche. You discovered an interesting comparison to what laughter means to you, now just lose the trite language - or all you originality goes bust.
Re: wrenched away from what? by skaskowski	8-Apr-02/8:10 AM
i think the difficultiy with most of your poems is the lack of concrete details. Feelings and feelings of disassociation are hard to nail down - but if you find a way to do it, it lends a certain muscularity to your work.
Re: will you? by Sapphire	4-Apr-02/1:46 PM
that's better.
Re: Truth of the Moon by ObiWonKn	16-Mar-02/1:21 AM
the last comparison is weak. "a ribbon....guarding" not a heavyweight sentry. This doesn't hang together very well - perhaps the first stanza should be the last?
Re: These things that we bury by Jody Conn	16-Mar-02/1:21 AM
really good effort & classic theme of redemption. you can strengthen it by losing the idiomatic language "in their prime" - it'll be tighter, more profound.
Re: Ghost in My Swimming Pool by ObiWonKn	16-Mar-02/1:21 AM
where does seeing this apparition take you? Is it you - an aspect of yourself you had forgotten or lost? Great effort - but there is a connection missing.
Re: Apathy by nentwined	16-Mar-02/1:21 AM
you leap from blind fear into a blossom of power. How? There is a step missing here. Really love when you go rhythmic: "can not is will not is does not is dead" and "cannot see the trees for the forest of my fears" You could have two poems here.
Re: Fascination by ObiWonKn	16-Mar-02/1:21 AM
manages to net Life's elusive quality. First stanza is my favorite in its precision