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Ghost in My Swimming Pool (Free verse) by ObiWonKn
Last night, there was a ghost in my swimming pool When I checked the water levels Scattered ancient recollections, Leaves littering the situation Even more I recognize this apparition From other late night swims And long jumps Off the diving board He thinks he?s funny, Bubbling up from the filters, Staring at me, As if he is someone else Ruby rose color In the whites of my eyes I wake up naked, Without a disguise He came again last night To remind me of you Bizarre and endless Like the pieces of glass Lying on the floor of my swimming pool

Up the ladder: Wreck of the Poor Anchor

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.1578946
Weighted score: 5.1504064
Overall Rank: 5215
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:16 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:16 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] deleted user @ | 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM | Reply
is it the "you" that is buzarre and endless, or the ghost? How do the ghost and "you" tie together? "Bubbling up from the filters" is good. Good images. Doesn't really come together for me, though.
[n/a] nrevatehtni @ | 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM | Reply
where does seeing this apparition take you? Is it you - an aspect of yourself you had forgotten or lost? Great effort - but there is a connection missing.
[n/a] Jill Stockinger @ | 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM | Reply
Don't understand the "glass" in pool-makes me wonder if suicide is hinted at?
[5] nentwined @ | 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM | Reply
very pretty
[n/a] notule @ | 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM | Reply
this is the third time this written this this morning. does anybody know how to write something that is not about death? I ask out of utility and curiousity not out of bitterness. just frustration
[5] deleted user @ | 6-May-02/3:22 AM | Reply
I like it, but it's a bit vague. I don't quite get who the ghost is, or what he's after?
[7] darylchew @ 202.156.2.130 | 28-Aug-04/1:57 AM | Reply
i like this one. the ghost is obviously your own reflection.

but i dont understand some parts. "He came again last night
To remind me of you"
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