on some deleted poem
22 Apr 2002, 11:22 AM
strange. who are you talking to?
on some deleted poem
22 Apr 2002, 11:23 AM
what are you talking about? dime-store philosophy and busted-up logic.
on conundrum, part 1 by poetekzen
8 Apr 2002, 8:25 AM
jazzy.... nice word plays
on Sloth and Expectation by ifni
22 Apr 2002, 11:24 AM
bravo
on All teeth when not. by ifni
22 Apr 2002, 11:27 AM
sucker
on some deleted poem
3 Jun 2002, 7:28 AM
Sorry, this doesn't evoke much at all except paucity of talent you possess in approaching this subject in a fresh manner.
on poetry by nrevatehtni
5 Jun 2002, 8:56 AM
hey, "Daaaaaaark Aaaaaangel", you are such a complete idiot. I love the advice you gave MarkWells - you know, to actually read some poetry before writing some poetry. Well, this poem you've insulted is actually a quite famous poem by Neruda (although, I don't suppose you've ever heard of him). Anyhow, this was once a useful site, Kaolin, but not since it's been populated by people who get off on insulting decent work for kicks. Clearly, industrious people like you, dark angel, should get off your ass and do some work for a living. You must lead a very sad, lonely life. I bet your parents never loved you. Why don't you slit your wrists and get it over with. Your poems and comments are an obvious plea for help. I hope you rot.
on some deleted poem
31 May 2002, 8:10 AM
proof for spelling/grammar & tense... you seem to be switching tenses alot. not sure what you're aiming for here. it leaves me with a sense of vacancy - and that's nice given the context - but you could tighten and focus this on something more. Also, it's interesting about the hyacinths in the dead of winter
on she did not by mitchski
22 Apr 2002, 11:25 AM
this has promise.
on Pleasurable Agony by crims0ngh0st
22 Apr 2002, 11:30 AM
try reading miller.
on Laughter by crims0ngh0st
8 Apr 2002, 8:14 AM
there must be a better way to say "you fondle my mind from the inside" and "oozes from my every pore" is not only slightly gross, but also v. cliche. You discovered an interesting comparison to what laughter means to you, now just lose the trite language - or all you originality goes bust.
on Sperm Donor Clown by ObiWonKn
8 Apr 2002, 8:18 AM
interesting images of distortion and unease... try to keep going with this. I think if you're going to use the clown metaphor, you might try finding a metaphor for "sperm donor", too.
on some deleted poem
8 Apr 2002, 8:28 AM
sad and eerie and asking all the right questions...
on nation by roses are read
10 Apr 2002, 8:35 AM
what are you talking about?
on some deleted poem
5 Apr 2002, 9:36 AM
it's the glimpse. You capture it in almost all your poems. Then your lay it against the great tapestry of your life. Reminds me a little of one of Derek Walcott's poems....when the man looks into a barrel of water and in that moment realizes he is an old man. Beautiful
on wrenched away from what? by skaskowski
8 Apr 2002, 8:10 AM
i think the difficultiy with most of your poems is the lack of concrete details. Feelings and feelings of disassociation are hard to nail down - but if you find a way to do it, it lends a certain muscularity to your work.
on voluntary, premature expulsion of fetal tissue by skaskowski
22 Apr 2002, 11:27 AM
dismal
on some deleted poem
5 Apr 2002, 9:22 AM
This is just... great.