poemranker ::voluntary, premature expulsion of fetal tissue by skaskowski

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Free verse № 109

voluntary, premature expulsion of fetal tissue

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 9 comments

darkness as the walls contract suspended in liquid empty consciousness Contractions force unwanted flesh aside The earth expels another budding life spiraling down... cold, stagnant air stings underdeveloped lungs a hard concrete floor to slip and slide upon until death's blanket blocks flourescent light muscular spasms beat the head against the ground... pain and blood pain and blood piercing pain, and slippery blood drying sticky turning brown, Pain becomes a final handle. Slipping life, slipping life, popping, crunching, breaking bones; Bring the light Kill the night, a shattering scream putrefies this ignorant chunk of infected delight

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mean 3.65 weighted 3.81 rank 13474 views 286 View voting details →

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9 comments

[8] anonymous 2-Jul-01/12:51 AM Reply
yuck!
[8] anonymous 2-Jul-01/1:05 AM Reply
this is more effective than "I was" or "unsalvaged". Great title. Very vivid imagery. The last line is a puzzle to me. Not sure how it links -- it's a shift in imagery.
[8] anonymous 2-Jul-01/4:50 PM Reply
"contractions force unwanted flesh aside" breaks the mood that I felt gathering -- it makes everything a bit less immediate, narrated as opposed to experienced. and it was kinda downhill from there, really. "milk and blood, blood and milk... a family of four... a family no more..."
[8] anonymous 17-Jul-01/10:08 AM Reply
this sounds like a cruel joke.
[8] anonymous 26-Jul-01/12:57 PM Reply
oooh, sounds slippery!
[8] anonymous 9-Sep-01/3:41 PM Reply
the power you wield is dangerous... i was un-nerved by this... nearly stirred to tears until the sickened feeling over took me...
[7] Piano 5-Apr-02/12:41 AM Reply
Grotesque. Me likes.
[3] nrevatehtni 22-Apr-02/11:27 AM Reply
dismal
[8] -=SeTTle=- 1-Aug-02/5:23 PM Reply
Good GOD, you sound like my ROOMMATE after I spilled BONGWATER and RED BULL on the CARPET.