Re: Can you believe this piece of shit was #1? by horus8	23-Jul-03/4:56 PM
Take comfort that the truth is far sweeter than any place on the best list. I'm hoping so, anyway.
Re: null by Bill Z Bub	23-Jul-03/5:12 PM
Ah, cat-tails. the ultimate phalic symbol. It was clearly the sister following in July's footsteps.
Re: Kakistocracy by <{Baba^Yaga}>	25-Jul-03/1:57 PM
This is hot shit!
Re: A Dreamers Cookery: Cosmic Gardener [edited] by SupremeDreamer	2-Aug-03/12:03 PM
Maybe just "Dynomite fishermen wanted" as if in a classified ad. Also, immolation to me implies "sacred". I love the ending with the plum instead of an apple. A good thinking work here. I'll vote later when my thought is complete.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Aug-03/12:17 PM
Hmmm. This truly is wanking to Buk. I like him, too. But, on a poetry website you might want to wank to "Dangling in the Tournefortia" instead of "South Of No North" Fun prose, though.
Re: marlon by bearhead	2-Aug-03/12:33 PM
What similes, as well. this is fun. I wouln't hold "crazy" against you for this, as it sounds appropriately neanderthal.
Re: Lethal Weapon by poetandkonwit	2-Aug-03/12:43 PM
Pardon my ignorance but, what the hell does "I flatter z" mean? Aside from that it speaks to me.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Aug-03/8:26 PM
Very clever! ...and labour intensive. I am humbled as I still have a hard time spelling "hell" upside down on the calculator.
Re: Bedroom Butchershop by dragonfly	7-Aug-03/11:23 PM
I know that feeling and it isn't fun. But, this poem is.
Re: Tug of War by dragonfly	7-Aug-03/11:30 PM
I think Bedroom Butchershop is so much better just because it's succinct. This is just too much of a rant for me.
Re: Looking down by INTRANSIT	7-Aug-03/11:41 PM
Okay, I'm an idiot 'cuz I don't understand this poem in the least and yet I enjoy these images immensely. If it's not too much of a kick in the nuts, could you please give me a clue about those last four lines? Reserving my vote. I'm glad I didn't read the version with "indecent proposal" in it.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Aug-03/11:56 PM
"Guilt is 'liberty's' sword" is an epiphany to me although I would just capitalize Liberty instead of using quotations. It links really well to the first three lines of the last stanza. Then the last three lines confuse me. Are you changing perspective? Suddenly it's "you" and "her". What happened to "I"? Finally, I like what you're saying in the first stanza but, it feels bulky to me. Best of luck on this!!
Re: blue lilac and I (edit) by richa	8-Aug-03/12:08 AM
Ooh, this is a delicate one. When the smelts are running the rivers really are silver though I could see if you didn't want to overplay the s sound. E minor doesn't have to be a chord, it could be a key, which I think is how you meant it. Try "the trombones minor key" as most people wouldn't know E from F to hear it, but could recognize Major from minor.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Aug-03/9:59 AM
I don't know, that second stanza is just weird to me. Sly like a patient farmer? I like a good incongruous image but this one seems to deflate the momentum of what you are describing...even though it reflects back to the land (swamp, meadow, wood..). I really wish I could suggest something but, I'm stumped. I find the next stanza more satisfying. Perhaps you could end with more imagery of "the land".
Re: Looking down by INTRANSIT	8-Aug-03/10:06 AM
Alright! Those last three lines are still perfect ,then. Somehow "to suggestion" doesn't quite seem to lead me there, though. I'm convinced that this is where the communication breakdown is.
Re: Looking down by INTRANSIT	8-Aug-03/3:50 PM
Hey, hold on. How can the chasms be tiled? What was it before? Clay-tiled roof or something...I had the picture of decrepit shed roofs before and that really worked for me.
Re: I An Anew (re edit) by scitz	8-Aug-03/4:03 PM
Might I suggest "Caught in the lattice of redemption," as lattice implies crossed slats... Title; I Am Anew. ...even though it's acctually my least favourite part of this work.
Re: God is a Lady by thepinkbunnyofdoom	8-Aug-03/4:12 PM
Bunny, this is your best work that I have seen since I've been on here. You actually seem to have "grown" with this one. Nice solid sentences, refreshingly void of vanity. This is your new benchmark. Congrats!!
Re: EARTH Inc. Memo: by SP REYNOLDS	11-Aug-03/10:20 PM
I dig this type of thing. Particularly like "ANDRETURNTOWORK" and "...dine on Pluto." I'll keep an eye out for more of yours.
Re: EARTH Inc. Memo: by SP REYNOLDS	11-Aug-03/10:21 PM
sp. "upon" Line 9