Re: (getting used to spending too much time with myself) by Patsy	11-Aug-03/10:24 PM
Maybe it's finally enough... That first line kicks anus!
Re: twilight by geewhiz1962	11-Aug-03/10:33 PM
I appreciate the concept more than the execution. Up until "How did I live it," works well enough for an introduction. The body of it seems to lack spice. Although I do like "discovering my powers."
Re: Concieted Checkmate. by LuckyJoe	11-Aug-03/10:36 PM
I think this would be WAY stronger if you didn't spoon-feed us the metaphor. Don't underestimate the reader unless you're writing for pre-teens.
Re: Sagadahoc to Hudson by http://mulberryfairy	11-Aug-03/10:42 PM
I find this to be a little messy for you. But the storytelling shows promise. Judging by your comments here you know just what needs working.
Re: Memorial Park by Mona Lisa	11-Aug-03/10:45 PM
This is exactly that combination of vivid and vague that I speak of in "A Brand New Eye". First haiku I've liked in a while!
Re: American Hiker by Garrett S Sexton	11-Aug-03/10:50 PM
"ready" or willing? I don't usually take to such popular images. But, when they're done this well I see just why they are popular in the first place.
Re: the blessed by forevergreen	5-Sep-03/1:18 AM
You could not be more wrong.
Re: Recycle by Patsy	5-Sep-03/1:27 AM
I think I got a contact high off of this. I probably misinterpreted it but it links well with my piece "Are You Experienced?" even the mistakes read like an acid trip...
Re: 30,000 feet by Patsy	5-Sep-03/1:36 AM
I dig this, having just got off a plane a few days ago. Like "Recycle", I figure I'm probably missing something but, I'll give it another read soon.
Re: Self Portrait by http://bandgeek	7-Sep-03/11:34 PM
It's vivid, I'll give you that.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Sep-03/11:51 PM
It's fucking painful to witness such naked expression but, worse yet, I'm sure, to be a hundred dollar vocabulary trapped in a 14 year old body. I gotta give you a ten for sheer risk but, first tell me; Was it love at first read?
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Sep-03/12:27 AM
Okay, very funny. Really, what makes this better than Flail & Fuck?
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Sep-03/12:33 AM
I get a zero from a logged on viewer and not even an insulting comment? That is truly insulting! Come on folks, with your help this could make it onto the top20 Worst Poems list! ...or you could tell me just where I've gone wrong so I can learn to not suck.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Sep-03/5:43 AM
What?? Who put that 5 there? I'll never make the Worst List with that kind of interference. A mediocre vote is even more insulting than a zero.
Re: How I fuck Freud off in the shower by horus8	8-Sep-03/6:13 AM
It's too bad this is on the Worst List but, if it wasn't I probably never would have had the pleasure to stumble across it.
Re: pErFeCt pAiN by William Delacroix	8-Sep-03/6:25 AM
I read an article recently about the use of Bach as accompaniment to violent imagery in films. Did you see that too? I like the burning sculpure idea and would like more details of that. Might I suggest a guilotine for the hands. I have to reserve my vote until you tell me what that last line means (and what language it is). I only speak English and only just barely.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Sep-03/6:35 AM
Now I see why my precious "Flail & Fuck" will never make the Worst List, it lacks that offensive brand of pretension that pretends not to be pretentious.
Re: (untitled) by http://bandgeek	8-Sep-03/6:46 AM
This is decent. It could use a little tightening. Even though I want to read a more expressive description, this stark treatment is likely most appropriate.
Re: pErFeCt pAiN by William Delacroix	8-Sep-03/6:56 AM
Ah. An unfermented wine with a sweet finish. Now that's a twist. See "Bach and Hollywood's bad guys" by Scott Timberg Los Angeles Times (reprinted in the Vancouver Sun Tuesday, August 26, 2003. I knew I had that article hangin' around. I hope it serves you.
Re: Bad-Ass Motherfucker by William Delacroix	8-Sep-03/7:16 AM
I think only the last line is legitimate "pimple". "...through tainted eyes" is too aware to be pimple but, that line makes for a better poem overall.