Re: unsent by Bill Z Bub	13-Jul-03/8:25 PM
I really dig that a love poem can be clever, and dark, and NOT too sappy. Take my breath and take my tongue are great requests for a kiss. I'm sorry, you are mistaken. This is not your best work. But it might be, tomorrow. 9
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jul-03/10:51 AM
Nice!!!! Nature deserve's more of our attention. I agree with Rod on the last line but, that's probably because the vanity of the city appeals less and less to me the more I get away from it. 8
Re: Acoustic by zzinnia66	15-Jul-03/2:10 PM
Music, technology, and the technology of music...what more could one want but, the feelings you conjure. P-90 eh? cool axe.
Re: Memoirs of a Monk - St. Screamer by SupremeDreamer	15-Jul-03/2:25 PM
I like how the layout looks like a lightningbolt\excamation point. Must...re-..read...
Re: Aluminum Xena - Prima Ballerina by SupremeDreamer	15-Jul-03/2:43 PM
It's so slim that I feel guilty suggesting that you slim it down. But "...the skirt of a scrap yard ballerina named xena..." is just more flashy. Punch me if economy is wrong for this, but it seems that you're half way there already. "Naive pixies/ beware" is awesome. "Innocent..." is redundant, I think. An 8 on great images alone. But it could be better yet. P.S. Thanx for your comments on my stuff. I appreciate the honesty about Sorry Romance.
Re: The Thought Of It by Christof	16-Jul-03/2:30 PM
Although this is not my favourite of yours it is another fine example of your knack for taking the real and the possible and making them one.
Re: Aluminum Xena - Prima Ballerina by SupremeDreamer	17-Jul-03/7:44 AM
I stand by my previous comment. Also, if foot steps is plural there should be no s on the end of echo. Risking your wrath, might I suggest removing the "of" before "aluminum cans"? Otherwise this is well done and rare at the same time. 9 ifI may.
Re: rainday by Bill Z Bub	17-Jul-03/7:49 AM
Survivalling on is nice. No, it's right. I'd not edit this anymore as it seems to be sensibly nonsensicle. 9
Re: Goodbye by Sunshine Conkey	18-Jul-03/2:14 PM
I'm sorry, but I just can't see through the sap. You can probably get a job with Hallmark, though. The sentiment is worthy of pursuit and I don't doubt that it comes from the heart. Just not my cup o' tea.
Re: Mistaken Paradise by DJCARTER	19-Jul-03/9:38 AM
This has missed my heart altogether.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Jul-03/9:53 AM
Funny, I feel more impressed with this than the others who have left comments. I don't see how a 6 or 7 can be given if the poem is not understood or just "not bad". My 6 is because I understood this quite well and appreciated the aloof tone you have achieved with your word selection. I particularly liked "the deeds of power" giving the manipulation a technical/legal feel. As if, "No offence, it simply must be done according to the law of nature."
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Jul-03/10:02 AM
Whew! This is a bloated whale if I've ever seen one. Thank God you had a point. I guess I understand the repitition. I suffered, but the payoff was worth it. Please take another stab. This deserves better. 4
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Jul-03/10:13 AM
Holy shit! And I thought Garden of Evil made me suffer... It's fine to pine for lost love but, tell us what you miss, give us some images, make us think on it. To say you miss someone doesn't constitute poetry unless you strive (harder) to make us relate and "feel" for your loss.
Re: Slip by Terence	19-Jul-03/10:20 AM
This is great. Inventive rhyme scheme and phrasing, and such great images. This is inspiring.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Jul-03/10:26 AM
Well, it's not quite as good a parody as SARS but it was still a chuckle.
Re: I've lost my poetic edge by thepinkbunnyofdoom	19-Jul-03/11:34 AM
It might be scarey. But, it might be better, too. I don't believe in the myth that an artist has to be in pain to do good work. That is what our memory is for. Take a 7 for reminding me of how terrifying it is to grow up and how much better I am for having done it!
Re: smile by nolan	19-Jul-03/11:41 AM
I respect the pathos but this really lacks focus.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Jul-03/11:47 AM
I think the last stanza stands best alone. It would be shorter, sweeter and stronger.
Re: You wouldn't know God from Adam by horus8	20-Jul-03/10:46 AM
Is he really a "diluted twit", or was that deluded? Also, I think "sounded like a ten year old child" would be better in the present tense. I can't really rank it as is but, perhaps after a good edit. Cheers!
Re: Voluptuous, Blonde Bird-Woman by http://mulberryfairy	23-Jul-03/4:43 PM
I don't believe that I have read a more vivid poem on this site! I almost gave this an 8 just to save the bell-curve but, upon re-reading it I don't honestly think it can be improved. So, here's your 10. Thanx for making my day!