on some deleted poem
26 Mar 2003, 8:21 PM
Usually I love your stuff. Unfortunately understanding is part of that for me. That being said I cannot love this one. I just don't get it.
on The truths of war by DeadtotheWorld
18 Jun 2003, 11:16 PM
Are = our
on some deleted poem
19 Jun 2003, 2:05 AM
I think this would be a concrete poem. Not a good one but one none the less
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 3:34 AM
YAY for Aurthur. I wouldn't want to work with someone I loved though. Even if I only loved them in a "I want to fuck you" way. Fantasies don't do me any good any more. Actually they never did but now I realize it.
on some deleted poem
10 Jun 2003, 11:24 AM
Hmmm... Usually Spring is associated with... err... lovers and Summer is associated wih marriage.
I like the twist (assuming that is what you were talking about)
I like the twist (assuming that is what you were talking about)
on Moo Gai Pai lover (dedicated to Settle) by Sylvia Bravo
8 Jun 2003, 9:20 PM
Call my wife and tell her about Moo Gai Pengs and I
could be
Call my wife and tell her of me and Moo Gai Pengs
to at least leave somewhat of a rhyme going
could be
Call my wife and tell her of me and Moo Gai Pengs
to at least leave somewhat of a rhyme going
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 3:20 AM
The best part about being gay?
No femine hygine products under the sink. Woo Hoo!
Oh and again, well done my lady.
No femine hygine products under the sink. Woo Hoo!
Oh and again, well done my lady.
on Barometric pressure & true love (The prince of storms) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
4 Jun 2003, 1:53 PM
I always love how you follow the rhyming rules so loosely. I wish I had the guts to do it but I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. Good work :D
on To those who'd share their heartfelt feelings with the world by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
3 Jun 2003, 1:24 PM
Stop reading about it. I've never forced you to read any of it. People generally write about what matters to them. You don't like it then just move on. No one gives a shit about what you give a shit about.
on some deleted poem
7 Apr 2003, 10:57 PM
Hmmmm.... nice descriptions. I like the face/glove simile. The subject matter is kind of dry but it's well written. 7
on Fraternity hazing the sheepdog by horus8
8 Apr 2003, 2:40 AM
Ummmm... Fun images but abstraction loses it's power when you can't follow the chord to a point.
By the way, it's = it is. It's = the one belonging to it. (last stanza)
Can you point me towards some of your more meaningful poems? I rather enjoy those.
By the way, it's = it is. It's = the one belonging to it. (last stanza)
Can you point me towards some of your more meaningful poems? I rather enjoy those.
on Guitar Lesson by Dancer
28 Mar 2003, 10:17 AM
Line five: Smoke
The rest: Good stuff.
The rest: Good stuff.
on Day to Day by thepinkbunnyofdoom
29 Mar 2003, 1:02 PM
Line 4: absolutely
Line 7: Seems kind of muddled. Maybe "As I stand in the raging storm on what was once a bright and sunny day"
Line 8: If it's stormy it's not really empty. Maybe "stormy and gray" (Or synonymous words to avoid repetition)
I don't understand some of the words you choose to capitalize. For a title, "Turbulence" ?
Line 7: Seems kind of muddled. Maybe "As I stand in the raging storm on what was once a bright and sunny day"
Line 8: If it's stormy it's not really empty. Maybe "stormy and gray" (Or synonymous words to avoid repetition)
I don't understand some of the words you choose to capitalize. For a title, "Turbulence" ?
on 12 O'Clock New Year's Eve by hdw
31 Mar 2003, 1:02 AM
Try not to be offended by this. I'm going to be honest and blunt. If you just hate me and go on a spiteful rage that's ok, you wouldn't be the first one, but I'd rather you think about what I say. You are quite lacking as a poet. You have things to say, good first step. Now they need to be molded into something a bit more artistic. Mind you artistic words with no meaning aren't much fun either. We have more than enough of that on this site. Find the balence, come back and let us see. Try metaphor and similie. They help a lot. I'm looking forward to seeing an improvement from you. Good luck and happy writing.
on The cross roads by Jeremi B. Handrinos
31 Mar 2003, 1:34 PM
Nice. I like it. This style is fun to play with. 7.
on some deleted poem
27 Mar 2003, 11:10 PM
Point well made and well taken. I wish more people understood that. It doesn't make it any better but it does put things in perspective. I hope that this is fictional though. I cannot imagine what it would feel like to lose a child but having lost others I know part of the pain.
on Hot Potato by Shardik
18 Jun 2003, 9:38 PM
I just ask them if they're ready for the coming of the snake. When they look confused I whip out my penis.
on Mommy Dearest by Babigurly69
8 Jun 2003, 5:30 PM
You're really... You're my..... you're not
You would have been the one I chose"
Damn. I love those lines.