poemranker ::Day to Day by thepinkbunnyofdoom

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Free verse № 45624

Day to Day

by thepinkbunnyofdoom

Member since 2003 · Posted 29 Mar 2003 · Edited 29 Mar 2003 · 6 comments

All the white Clouds have turned Gray From the darkest Points comes the Lightning Fully charged With angry Honesty Shouting loud And absolutely Clear Only to be drowned Out by the pouring Rain The troubled waters Fall and surround Us As I stand in the raging storm on What was once a bright and sunny happy Day I have to wonder if It'll ever be sunny Again.

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mean 7.80 weighted 6.40 rank 778 views 281 View voting details →

10 votes so far. Yours would make 11.10 votes so far

6 comments

[n/a] OneFingerAnswer 29-Mar-03/1:02 PM Reply
Line 4: absolutely
Line 7: Seems kind of muddled. Maybe "As I stand in the raging storm on what was once a bright and sunny day"
Line 8: If it's stormy it's not really empty. Maybe "stormy and gray" (Or synonymous words to avoid repetition)

I don't understand some of the words you choose to capitalize. For a title, "Turbulence" ?
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › OneFingerAnswer 29-Mar-03/2:01 PM Reply
Thank you very much
The Caps. are just the first center and last word. I'll give it a title when I finish it but I like your Idea.
[1] lunar 2-Apr-03/1:26 PM Reply
Bit strange, at least your work is varied!
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › lunar 2-Apr-03/1:38 PM Reply
I'm trying to go with more medifores instead of just emoting all the time. I'm still working on this one tho cause I think that the meaning is just a little too deeply buried get thru.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › thepinkbunnyofdoom 28-Jun-03/10:51 PM Reply
This poem was just again, growing in style.
[n/a] god'swife 2-Apr-03/8:58 PM Reply
adjectives & adverbs:

white
gray
darkest
fully
angry
loud
absolutely
clear
troubled(waters of course, what else)
raging
bright
sunny
happy
sunny

Stop watching Nickelodeon and read The Colossus by Slyvia Plath.

I give up, your all abunch of puddin'heads.