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12 O'Clock New Year's Eve (Free verse) by hdw Itâs 12 oâclock new yearâs eve, and I have not spoken to you today
I was just wondering what you are doing and if you have a place to stay
I wish that I could be with you now, tomorrow and everyday in between
But I wonder if you are hiding from something, and hoping not to be seen
I am trying to help you to get through this, I am trying to put my
feelings aside
Even though I hurt more than you do, because I am the one that has to
see you cry
I hate to see you upset, I try my hardest to always keep a smile on your
face
And if the world ever seems to much to bear, I promise Iâll keep you
safe from this place
Up the ladder:
my heart sings a song
Down the ladder:
A Sepcial Someone
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.3333333
Posted: March 30, 2003 10:20 PM PST; Last modified: March 30, 2003 10:20 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.8013287 Overall Rank: 11073 Comments:
[n/a]
OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3
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31-Mar-03/1:02 AM
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Reply
Try not to be offended by this. I'm going to be honest and blunt. If you just hate me and go on a spiteful rage that's ok, you wouldn't be the first one, but I'd rather you think about what I say. You are quite lacking as a poet. You have things to say, good first step. Now they need to be molded into something a bit more artistic. Mind you artistic words with no meaning aren't much fun either. We have more than enough of that on this site. Find the balence, come back and let us see. Try metaphor and similie. They help a lot. I'm looking forward to seeing an improvement from you. Good luck and happy writing.
[n/a]
OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3
> OneFingerAnswer
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31-Mar-03/1:05 AM
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Reply
By the by, if I came off sounding like I think I'm the greatest or like an elietest, I'm sorry. I'm not really. There are many poets here who constently humble me with their work. I was only trying to give friendly advice.
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