on 9/11 by dougsoderstrom
11 Sep 2002, 11:47 AM
nice non-haiku.
on AIDS Bonanza! by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
6 Jun 2003, 5:31 AM
I think, having conquered the realm of AIDS limericks, you should move on to more challenging ground, such as AIDS triolets. I've written one to start you off:
I recently contracted a virus called AIDS
from having gay sex with a homo.
Now I'll have to give up butt raids:
I recently contracted a virus called AIDS.
It all started out as a game of charades
And now I can't have bum sex no mo.
I recently contracted a virus called AIDS
from having gay sex with a homo.
I recently contracted a virus called AIDS
from having gay sex with a homo.
Now I'll have to give up butt raids:
I recently contracted a virus called AIDS.
It all started out as a game of charades
And now I can't have bum sex no mo.
I recently contracted a virus called AIDS
from having gay sex with a homo.
on some deleted poem
3 Jun 2003, 1:52 PM
"weâve been insulted, baited, profaned, and antagonized"
"The vulgarity and obscenities are unnecessary"
"amateur wanna-be writers who get their kicks by hating"
"You are the nasty, horrible, pasty, fat, short cowardly little twirp"
"every woman despises"
"and your girlfriendâs ugly"
"The vulgarity and obscenities are unnecessary"
"amateur wanna-be writers who get their kicks by hating"
"You are the nasty, horrible, pasty, fat, short cowardly little twirp"
"every woman despises"
"and your girlfriendâs ugly"
on Unmasking Wyverns by horus8
19 May 2003, 2:28 PM
it's great, and all, but I don't quite see how the repeated lines fit in with the pairs of lines before their repetitions; it seems they're only repeated for the sake of the form of the poem.
on some deleted poem
16 May 2003, 11:02 AM
I see you've made good use of the Oxford Dictionary of Clichés. Good Effort. 10/10.
on 9/11 by dougsoderstrom
13 Sep 2002, 1:19 PM
doug, I am astounded at your ability to respond to points that were never made. Perhaps if you were more willing to consider criticism, people would accept your arguments; but you seem determined to hide behind the 'sensitive' nature of this poem in an attempt to deflect criticism. But most of the criticism you have received does not concern the subject of the poem (criticism which, I believe, is well justified); instead it attacks the execution of the poem. By posting your poem on this forum you open yourself to criticism, yet you refuse to face it, instead insisting that anybody who dislikes the poem has a problem with yor religion or politics or nationality.
on winter every day (Don't bother reading this) by unknown
13 Sep 2002, 2:15 PM
I have a friend who has a friend (well, maybe not a friend, but he knows him in any case), who decided, one winter, he'd make some money by clearing the ice and snow from people's driveways. His technique was a masterful stroke of genius - he splashed hot water on the drive, melting the ice and thus clearing the danger. Unfortunately, this boy neglected to consider what would happen when his hot water became less hot, and froze, and turned into black ice.
on Putney at Low Tide by Christof
11 Sep 2002, 8:59 AM
The language seems a little too pretty for Putney; but that doesn't take away too much.
on Leaf on the wind by troll454
10 Sep 2002, 2:03 PM
Besides the obvious, rather unremarkable final two lines, I don't see that this poem has anything to recommend it. Presumably the high votes are due to its emotional subject, but banal writing cannot stand up on its subject matter.
on Wise Clogg! by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
8 Sep 2002, 3:24 PM
I don't believe there are so many negative votes on this. It couldn't possibly offend the sensitive sensibilities of a teenage girl.
on some deleted poem
8 Sep 2002, 4:33 AM
Oranges! Fresh Oranges! A paand a paand!
Hold it there, Sir! You are under arrest, for not selling your merchandise in kilograms.
Hold it there, Sir! You are under arrest, for not selling your merchandise in kilograms.
on Don't Wanna Know by nightii
8 Sep 2002, 4:41 AM
Look, I have to side with Dark_Angel on this one. There's a fine line between kidding around and being downright insulting, and you haven't quite got the balance right. Better luck Next Time!
on some deleted poem
7 Sep 2002, 3:21 PM
It's a nice idea, an interesting description of a seemingly straightforward thing; except what you've done is made a straightforward description of a straightforward thing.
on Water Droplet by craiggiarc1971
7 Sep 2002, 3:37 PM
Aha! I understand the poem! All the pairs of words are related - EXCEPT SKIN AND CUSTARD!!!!11 - we are being forced to reconsider whether we are not, after all, cannibals.
on Forbidden Love by beakism
7 Sep 2002, 3:39 PM
come on, deidre, write a poem. I want to write long, abusive comments. I want to vote zero. I want to write poems about how ugly and talentless you are. so hurry up.
on The heart of self destruction by Roisin
8 Sep 2002, 3:56 AM
line five, I think what you actually mean is 'as we lie'.
lie (lying; lay; lain) : to be or to stay at rest in a horizontal position; rest, recline...
lay (laid) : to put or set down.
speak is in the present tense, so apparently you and your friend are laying eggs while you speak tenderly.
lie (lying; lay; lain) : to be or to stay at rest in a horizontal position; rest, recline...
lay (laid) : to put or set down.
speak is in the present tense, so apparently you and your friend are laying eggs while you speak tenderly.
on Life's Great Irony by Tascobar
12 Sep 2002, 12:52 PM
'he was called a spack / behind his back'. smooth.
on Fit In by A Simple Poet 123
27 May 2003, 5:30 AM
yeah, no one understands us asl?
on this feeling by gmoney8469
6 Jun 2003, 5:34 AM
I see you've worked hard at making original and inventive rhymes:
mind
mine
mine
mine
time
good work. 10.
mind
mine
mine
mine
time
good work. 10.
on The Writing Life by poetandknowit
11 Sep 2002, 9:30 AM
Unllllucky.