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The heart of self destruction (Free verse) by Roisin
Your heart belongs to her, Described(by you)as your brown-eyed Sweetly naive french girl. You speak tenderly of her As we lie Flushed and moist; Guilt slowly covering our naked bodies Like a prudish blanket. How I am wronging this innocent stranger. I shall be The faceless assassin of her heart.

Up the ladder: Untitled
Down the ladder: Puddle

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.25
Weighted score: 4.910598
Overall Rank: 9535
Posted: July 20, 2002 3:54 AM PDT; Last modified: November 9, 2002 4:55 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] beakism @ 213.122.188.29 | 8-Sep-02/3:56 AM | Reply
line five, I think what you actually mean is 'as we lie'.
lie (lying; lay; lain) : to be or to stay at rest in a horizontal position; rest, recline...
lay (laid) : to put or set down.
speak is in the present tense, so apparently you and your friend are laying eggs while you speak tenderly.
[10] ==Doylum @ 213.1.166.45 > beakism | 13-Sep-02/12:18 PM | Reply
It would lose other meanings if she changed it dufus boy.
[10] ==Doylum @ 213.122.30.3 | 20-Jul-02/7:59 AM | Reply
phoar, lovely
[9] Dan garcia-Black @ 67.118.140.41 | 9-Nov-02/12:16 AM | Reply
Fine imagery. What you mean to say is understood without the (by you).
Been on both sides of this one. Painful but real.
[7] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 15-Nov-02/9:17 AM | Reply
'the faceless assassin of her heart' that did it for me - 7

well done indeed and i'm in a bad mood
203 view(s)




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