| Re: the realzz by bxjay170 |
8-Feb-03/11:53 AM |
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| Re: a comment on Pain by Teen14 |
8-Feb-03/11:51 AM |
I suggest writing a poem about the moment you found out she was in the hospital. How did it happen? Or perhaps a poem about visiting her.
Get a little more specific.
!Hey, wow! Constructive criticism?! What the?!
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| Re: a comment on Raw boy chiva by horus8 |
7-Feb-03/5:19 PM |
Speaking of hands, you'd better wash yours. And use a tissue when you wipe, for Buddha's sake.
Snot nosed brat.
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| Re: Raw boy chiva by horus8 |
7-Feb-03/2:59 PM |
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Original as always, falcongod.
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| Re: a comment on downtown bus by Bill Z Bub |
7-Feb-03/2:45 PM |
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Ah, I see. "cheap knockoff" is a complement! Of course! The day you stop laughing at others long enough to see you're standing in manure is the day you stop getting pissed on by goats.
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| Re: a comment on downtown bus by Bill Z Bub |
7-Feb-03/1:23 PM |
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If ever there was a time to say "fuck you"...
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| Re: Grampa's Proverb by OneFingerAnswer |
5-Feb-03/8:15 AM |
Aside from the massacre of the word phoenix, the syllable count is wrong.
Still not bad.
How about:
"when man uses flame
to kill a phoenix, he makes
his own enemy"
or
"a new enemy"
Either way. Unless you don't care that it's not a Haiku, in which case, it's cool.
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| Re: Harry Potter and the philosophers stone by ==Doylum |
5-Feb-03/7:55 AM |
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Sometimes the stream of consciousness is polluted and all the fishies wash up on the shore.
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| Re: Prose poem written in 1 minute and 27 seconds while listening to Slim Cessna croon by poetandknowit |
3-Feb-03/7:40 AM |
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| Re: a comment on The Kansas City Chiefs suck by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
2-Feb-03/8:30 PM |
toodlepip.
just got back online. my modem exploded.
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| Re: The Kansas City Chiefs suck by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
2-Feb-03/7:38 PM |
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| Re: All I Feel by brokenwing |
30-Jan-03/8:03 PM |
I quite like "Your face is gently bathed
in the moons flourescent beams,
and shows no indication
of the content of your dreams."
But you lost me with the awkwardness of
"I have never known such beauty
as the body lying on my bed 3 feet away,
who seems to grow even more so
when touched by the light of day."
How about: "I've never known such beauty
as that which rests 3 feet away.
You seem to grow much more so,
untouched by light of day.
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| Re: a comment on unsent by Bill Z Bub |
30-Jan-03/7:23 PM |
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Wha? Er, okay. Besides the first line, which I'm having troubles with, I believe this to be one of my best. Now you've made me doubt. I'm horribly insecure about my writing. Sad.
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| Re: a comment on unsent by Bill Z Bub |
30-Jan-03/7:19 PM |
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Thankya. I'm still struggling with the opening line to this one. I am going to change it soon.
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| Re: a comment on a poet in the city by Bill Z Bub |
30-Jan-03/7:31 AM |
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chopped liver? what makes you think yer not there?
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| Re: Love by NinjaPoet |
29-Jan-03/9:34 PM |
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nice bit. Is it a poem? Sure, if you say it is. But whats Sturgis?
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| Re: a comment on a poet in the city by Bill Z Bub |
29-Jan-03/8:42 PM |
Very nice,
but I'm not paid to be opening these boxes.
But still...
hrmmmm.
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| Re: A Puzzling Girl by Imperfections |
29-Jan-03/7:17 PM |
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The second half is excellent.
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| Re: a comment on unsent by Bill Z Bub |
29-Jan-03/7:07 PM |
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I tried it. Then got nervous and replaced it with something new. What say you?
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| Re: ending by Limness |
29-Jan-03/7:04 PM |
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you will go on a long journey
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