Pain

Member since 2003 · Posted 7 Feb 2003 · Edited 7 Feb 2003 · 7 comments

It hurts when she's not here Not knowing she's ok Not knowing if she's made it through the day It hurts to think what if But it's hard to stop I feel the pain as if she's gone forever God please let her be ok I don't know what I'd do without her I'd be an empty shell Let her be all right Le me know she'll be ok She's my light Don't take it away

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5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

7 comments

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Feb-03/6:32 PM Reply

How interesting. You've really opened my eyes with this poem. You're poetandknowit, aren't you?

[n/a] Teen14 › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 8-Feb-03/7:04 AM Reply

I have no idea what you're talking about. I wrote this poem yesterday when I found out my girlfriend was in the hospital.

[n/a] Bill Z Bub › Teen14 8-Feb-03/11:51 AM Reply

I suggest writing a poem about the moment you found out she was in the hospital. How did it happen? Or perhaps a poem about visiting her.
Get a little more specific.

!Hey, wow! Constructive criticism?! What the?!

[n/a] Teen14 › Bill Z Bub 8-Feb-03/12:22 PM Reply

I think the title says it all about I felt: PAIN. Need there be more?

[n/a] Bill Z Bub › Teen14 8-Feb-03/7:05 PM Reply

Yes. There need be more.

[4] Shardik 9-Feb-03/1:34 PM Reply

i believe that this poem would work miracles, if you sustituted "soap" for "stop".

[n/a] razorgrin 10-Feb-03/9:55 AM Reply

Yes, there needs to be more. Content, specifically. hope your chick doesn't die.