on joyriding by Bill Z Bub
22 Dec 2002, 5:04 AM
This is good, very good. 10
on missing time by Bill Z Bub
22 Dec 2002, 4:59 AM
Ah yes, possibly the best work today...have a nine.
replying on Frozen Angel by Ranger
22 Dec 2002, 4:44 AM
Outstanding! How long have you played cello for? I've been going about nine years (and I'm still crap!) It's the most beautiful instrument in the world as far as I'm concerned-well, with the possible exception of the harp.
Do you have a group? I'm currently writing a string section to one of my group's songs, hopefully people will take notice of it.
Thanks for the comments everybody! Merry Christmas!
Do you have a group? I'm currently writing a string section to one of my group's songs, hopefully people will take notice of it.
Thanks for the comments everybody! Merry Christmas!
on pee haiku by New Life Drug
20 Dec 2002, 4:26 AM
Bugger, I'm agreeing with poetandknowit! This is incredible, thank you NLD!
on the feeling was never there by blackball
20 Dec 2002, 4:15 AM
Not bad, my friend, not bad at all. I like the line "praying for a moment..."
8/10
8/10
on Baby Soup by w~* ATHENA *~w
20 Dec 2002, 4:04 AM
If you're going to steal REM's lyrics, please at least try to disguise them. Even better, DON'T STEAL THEM AT ALL!
on before I forget by moonUnit
19 Dec 2002, 12:53 AM
Reminds me of 'Before You Were Mine', by Carol Ann Duffy, I think.
on Sword of All by marvelis
19 Dec 2002, 12:50 AM
Some of this is very good, some is less than...
The second to last stanza is good, as is "Fight with all might"
Maybe you could put a dragon in there, and some wizards too(!) Don't worry, I'm just off in a Tolkien world...
The second to last stanza is good, as is "Fight with all might"
Maybe you could put a dragon in there, and some wizards too(!) Don't worry, I'm just off in a Tolkien world...
on UltraSound by UnityMitford
18 Dec 2002, 1:27 PM
Marvellous
replying on Frozen Angel by Ranger
18 Dec 2002, 1:26 PM
I've no idea why the ???s, they're meant to be apostrophes (not sure if I spelt that right)
replying on Frozen Angel by Ranger
18 Dec 2002, 1:24 PM
It's true that some of the lines don't quite work here-I thought that myself as I was writing it. Sadly that was at about three o clock in the morning, so I couldn't really clear my mind enough to come up with anything better. Then this morning, when I came to try and improve it I'd just totally lost all the ideas I had, which was an arse!
I considered not putting this on here until I'd improved it, but it occurred to me that I'm not a poet (no shit!) and that maybe the people on this site might help me with it, cause I really think it's ok. I especially feel pleased with the middle four lines of the last verse-I don't know where on earth they came from!
As for your guess, you are almost right. It???s actually a very obscure metaphor for me, in a strange sense (i.e. I???m not female, nor would I ever consider myself an angel). You are kind of right, though. It is drawn from a love I never had-but I would never curse her-we???re still great friends. It's really just the stupid period that all teenagers go through, but I figured that even if how I feel isn't important to the rest of the world, it's still important to me.
My friend Dani here just said that I could make a really good writer or poet if I tried! That was very complementary!
Anyway, thank you again for your time, I've got to go and get the bus or I'll be stuck in college miles from home!
I considered not putting this on here until I'd improved it, but it occurred to me that I'm not a poet (no shit!) and that maybe the people on this site might help me with it, cause I really think it's ok. I especially feel pleased with the middle four lines of the last verse-I don't know where on earth they came from!
As for your guess, you are almost right. It???s actually a very obscure metaphor for me, in a strange sense (i.e. I???m not female, nor would I ever consider myself an angel). You are kind of right, though. It is drawn from a love I never had-but I would never curse her-we???re still great friends. It's really just the stupid period that all teenagers go through, but I figured that even if how I feel isn't important to the rest of the world, it's still important to me.
My friend Dani here just said that I could make a really good writer or poet if I tried! That was very complementary!
Anyway, thank you again for your time, I've got to go and get the bus or I'll be stuck in college miles from home!
replying on Frozen Angel by Ranger
18 Dec 2002, 11:46 AM
By the way, can't wait to see your new one, it sounds good!
replying on Frozen Angel by Ranger
18 Dec 2002, 11:39 AM
Soo-bloody-perb! Cheers for the advice! Do you mind if I write another version of this with your ideas in? I like both sets, and it would be cool to have both on here? Thanks once again!
replying on The North Wind by Ranger
18 Dec 2002, 8:24 AM
Okey-dokey then, I'll start with the title. I think that it was just the primary idea that sparked the whole thing off, and it kind of reflected how I wanted the poem to feel.
I was trying to write a song in the style of Reef (I try to imitate groups sometimes to see if I can, and if it's easy. Generally I don't use the things I write in this way for any particular purpose i.e. my group). Anyhoo, I ended up writing various two-liners that didn't really resemble Reef, but I thought "Hey, I'll put them together and see what it sounds like". I thought that some of it worked well, although in retrospect some of it is pretty naff and cliched.
Anyway, I enjoyed writing it and maybe if I've got time I'll try to improve it. Thank you for your observations-it's what I put poems on this site for!
I was trying to write a song in the style of Reef (I try to imitate groups sometimes to see if I can, and if it's easy. Generally I don't use the things I write in this way for any particular purpose i.e. my group). Anyhoo, I ended up writing various two-liners that didn't really resemble Reef, but I thought "Hey, I'll put them together and see what it sounds like". I thought that some of it worked well, although in retrospect some of it is pretty naff and cliched.
Anyway, I enjoyed writing it and maybe if I've got time I'll try to improve it. Thank you for your observations-it's what I put poems on this site for!
on lackluster fear by blackball
18 Dec 2002, 5:45 AM
I assume you're American? That would explain the spelling 'lackluster'. Over here it's 'lacklustre', but that doesn't matter. Good work, 7 or 8, can't decide...
on A christmas thought by keatsImnot
18 Dec 2002, 5:41 AM
I'm confused. Is this a religious preacher poem, a third world preacher poem or a can't-be-arsed poem? Not bad, anyway.
And breathe.