Re: At The Station by Christof	16-Mar-06/8:37 AM
'Damp yellow light' works beautifully, and the bank clerk's grin similie put a smile on my face! The continuity across lines 7 and 8 felt odd, somehow - personally I'd try and avoid using 'That needs' at the start of the line; but then again it would be pretty awkward to twist around effectively. The loose rhyme scheme suits this piece, not so distracting that it detracts from the imagery, but enough to make itself known in the background. Top class.
Re: Birdcalls by poetandknowit	16-Mar-06/8:25 AM
Fantastic opener, the first stanza was favoured over the second (nice as it was, it lacked the nostalgic edge that stanza 1 had). 'Gathers light from my last youthful days'...beautiful...one of those (many) things that makes me want to get out of the city again. Anyway, you may or may not read this; either way I'll post my apologies for various stupid rants in the past - they served no purpose other than to fuel my conviction that I was the greatest poet on Earth and above criticism. So there it is; I think you're a very good writer and shall read through your list of poems as I should have done already. Peace?
Re: a comment on Endless Battle by rahson_s	16-Mar-06/8:09 AM
Well we've got meta-kus, why not meta-free verses? I wrote a meta-villanelle the other day. Aren't I clever?
Re: Judged by Dovina	16-Mar-06/7:52 AM
Hmm...I don't really know what to make of this. I think Caducus nailed it with stanzas 1 and 6, something about 'hot dog...he does not eat' sat uneasy with me. The last stanza seemed very 'message-y', which I'm not a fan of in poems. Stanza 4 is good though.
Re: a comment on 3/12/06 by cronus	16-Mar-06/7:46 AM
Heh...some of the things we said to each other are embarrassing...if I thought he'd read it, I'd apologise to him...what *would* he make of me now?
Re: Coventry nights by Caducus	16-Mar-06/7:24 AM
Cardiff's no better. Some nasty connotations there in 'kebab meat gorged by kebab meat'. Line 6 - 'black scab'? Pretty cool, very patriotic. I share your sentiments.
Re: a comment on 3/12/06 by cronus	16-Mar-06/7:21 AM
'Have you ever stood in the way of harm...?' Yes - my 'conversations' with poetandknowit are testament to that! But then again, I was young and foolish...(what's changed?) Anyway, I've read through your stuff and I like your style, you write pretty well - but you always seem to struggle for comments. I really think that with feedback from the top poets here (most of whom are always around to comment) you could do well. Try posting feedback on other peoples' poems and you'll get plenty in return!
Re: a comment on The Hermit on the Thoroughfare by http://mulberryfairy	15-Mar-06/2:59 PM
-=Dark_Angel=- could make that connection, I believe. "46 million babies a year" springs to mind. Cool poem, female trucker sprang to mind.
Re: no title by mystic enoch	15-Mar-06/7:50 AM
Be a little more inventive with the rhymes. 'It's hard not to get lost in them' - totally true.
Re: i prefer steadfast by skaskowski	15-Mar-06/7:47 AM
Very smooth, the title says it all. 'Let the ocean wrap me up and rinse away all my graffiti' - excellent.
Re: Endless Battle by rahson_s	15-Mar-06/7:44 AM
'debut to a page' is quite good, so are the last two lines (although it would probably work better if the last line was just 'mind and pen'). So...what's with this general trend of people posting and not commenting on anyone else's works?
Re: Birthday by Dhanesh M Kumar	15-Mar-06/7:41 AM
Last stanza was pretty good, didn't like 'torturous' though, I reckon you could find something more effective and less overused there. Stanza 1 was a little dry...it works, but isn't spectacular. Same for the first line of stanza 2. Other than that it's alright.
Re: Indianapolis Since by matt door	15-Mar-06/3:26 AM
I don't know, I think 'the love of young wishes' works just as well. This is nice, you are very good at writing brief, nostalgic poems! I'm not sure about 'field of green and was', or 'perfect shade of once'...something a little more logical might fit better - but even so, it works well as it is.
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	14-Mar-06/11:13 AM
Well this is a beautiful thread. Dovina, you should have made 140785 the number which your poem refers to because then, not only is it an odd number, it is also the number of this poem. Therefore all this highly mathematical logic would be meaningless because the poem would be about itself rather than a number selected at random. Reminds me of a definition of 'analysis' that Scott Adams gave - 'analysis' coming (according to him) from the Greek 'anal' and 'ysis' ('to pluck numbers from'). Which is all very relevant to this post. ALChemy - what about a group of hypothetical concepts/objects that are grouped together solely because they're totally different? Then 'Article #183' would be unique. Imagine the irony if it was also a eunuch.
Re: a comment on We Do Not Write About by faithmairee	14-Mar-06/11:01 AM
If by infinity you refer to the universe, then I believe another 'infinity' would make space for itself while not taking up any more space in any other universe. If you mean infinity in a purely conceptual manner, well I reckon I could get you a decent filing cabinet.
Re: a comment on Desolation by Beyond_Dreams	13-Mar-06/3:45 PM
Having never hailed Green Day or U2 I think I get away with my lambasting...besides, I was polite, wasn't I?
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	13-Mar-06/3:18 PM
Oh, I doubt it's the 'new thing'...but as I said, it reminded me of The Island (minus Ewan MacGregor's dubious accent...there's none of that in here, fortunately). Have a watch sometime and see if what I said makes sense. If it doesn't, well I don't even know what I'm typing sometimes, so don't worry about it.
Re: Half a dozen by thepinkbunnyofdoom	13-Mar-06/3:03 PM
Pretty, I'd agree with changing 'outta' though.
Re: I want to slit my wrist and call it poetry by thepinkbunnyofdoom	13-Mar-06/3:02 PM
You manage what most can't, namely angst without pimples! This is a very smooth piece of prose - the conclusion was the most effective part; not entirely original but then again, when you can write this well novelty doesn't always matter. A top-notch read.
Re: a comment on The Devil's Carnival by Ranger	13-Mar-06/2:55 PM
Not bad at all - you pretty much condensed both meanings into one =D